Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Panic!
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Denial
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Shyness alert
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
Top comments
splat_fml 0
Today, when I was out to go for a romantic diner with my girlfriend, a waitress came up to us. Right before she was going to give us the menu, she farted really loud. I felt my hair blowing in the wind. FML.
24788 7
That's what I call giving your customers a little extra. Even though it's a horrible gift!
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Comments (109)
rice_cake 0
ew. Thats hideously embarrasing. And you can stop that kind of thing from happening. Try to be more careful next time. lol at #10 hahaha
xClarkGable 0
uhm... gross.
Blanadestroyer 0
"Oh, just to remind you that 'Taco Beans' is our daily special..."
lol_seriously 0
A bodily function, jeeze FLY indeed... ¬_¬
awesomeamandas 37
a bunch of embarrassment that could potentially affect the tip they receive. jeeze fyl.
dol567 0
Awww that's so embarassing. You couldn't help it either. That must have been awkward when you waited on them later but at least it's over now. And LOL #13!
caits13 0
Ha ha! FYL. How was the tip?
jamblasticus 0
Did they tip you?
Mnemic 6
You should have said like Morpheus in The Matrix/Fartrix 'Is that air you're breathing?'. :-P
dearViena 0
LMAO
Gawain_fml 0
Soooooooey!
jimmyb00o5 0
You gotta compensate them somehow. Customers do appreciate complementary bj's. Start with the youngest and work your way up. ;-p