Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk, saying, "Shut the fuck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
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Top comments
jjmiller1001 17
atleast they didn't come after you
Not_Impressed13 9
Just be glad they didn't take the "I love you" as an invitation..
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Comments (94)
yuup96 11
looks like killing them with kindness didn't go too well.
Kaylan_Paige 6
At least they didn't try to steal the shower
Danielle7994 18
And...How would they be able to do that exactly?
chanellgymnast 17
Never "assume". Makes an ass out of "u" and "me".
n4ture 20
i think you didn't lock your door.
GlitterGoddess 6
Opposite FML: "Today while robbing a house, I was trying to be quiet but accidentally slammed the foor to which the owner replied "I love you!" ****...how awkward.
ctlnaaia71 8
You were lucky you didn't get raped.
MuseFan1991 14
this is why i keep the door locked whenever im home alone. my fiance has a key to let himself in :/
jojimugo 20
Rule #1 on Fml, never ask obvious questions or you will face the wrath
deadhead419 15
If you could hear the door slam, you probably said "I love you" to a missing stereo and television.
bettyc4 26
I work for ADT wish she woulda got a system before something like that happened. Thank goodness she wasn't harmed.