Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
Today, my son said his first word. It was the N-word. We are white. I need to have a talk with my husband immediately. FML
Today, I politely asked my neighbor if she could tell her kids to be a little more quiet, and I guess I wasn't the first one to approach her. She slammed the door in my face, but not before screaming, "I bet none of you would be doing this if we were white." FML
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, I was in a shop with my 9 month-old son. He was babbling gibberish as babies do, and repeatedly said what sounded like the N-word. We're white. FML
Today, I came home from work to a shouting match between my husband and my teenage son. What were they so riled up about? I'm still not quite sure. Something about the podcaster who was shot recently, and whether his wife is now "grifting" or not. I actually used the phrase, "Go outside and touch grass." FML
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Top comments
fmlTGOD 0
Sounds like the only thing you're missing is a piece of shit car and a crack addiction.
nitram0606 0
Well, there has to be one....
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Comments (102)
portablecupid 3
You could probably fix that by... oh, I don't know... Not screaming at your son?
SilentTreatment 7
There goes the neighborhood....
strainer04 8
TV C NBC shdshdvhevehrvrhrvhr
Bladian 5
You're a Wiccan. You can't be ghetto.
hyden121 2
Family matters should always stay private...YDI.
sav1996 2
so fix it?
HatesCrickets 0
... So just talk to him inside? I dont see why you dont just fix it by NOT screaming at him out front. YDI
Angelastic_fml 18
Congratulations. The first step is admitting you have a problem.
Narwhal234 6
Where you screaming about how your son fed the gator in the backyard?
qhostred 0
If you have grass in your driveway, that might be a sign. If you have been on jerry springer or maury, I'm pretty sure they get it.