Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
Today, while I was driving, a pedestrian gesticulated wildly at me for being on my phone. I was just tucking my hair behind my ear. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IAmzephyr 22
car jacking?
Edward862 7
yeah, I should probably apologize for that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
JMichael 26
Hey when you feel the urge nothing will stop you.
erin55378 17
He might have needed a hand!
WipeHour 11
job
feven 32
Well, did he need help or not?
XOhBotherX 14
Oh wow... how can someone be THAT desperate? Can't you hold on till you reach home?
buckdharma 38
15- Every time he turned to go home he went straight.
vikky538 29
He just got a phone emergency and stopped the car to responding to it.
stephenfranklin 15
When it hits, there is no stopping
dakatabg 31
He likes variety
Camo23 21
That's just disturbing.
gearhead369 20
That is priceless! Did you still offer a hand? Lol
fakedsincerity 32
At least he had the foresight to pull over so he didn't crash at the vital moment.
Grenith 21
Cli-crashing?
Miss_Whipped 43
Crashmaxing.
False_Stupidity 42
Climashing