Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML
Today, I got written up for filing a complaint against IT for unplugging my computer while I was on my lunch break. I found out because one of my workmates warned me. I work with a computer so old, it takes about 40 minutes to get it running. The company refuses to update the equipment, because "it's unnecessary." FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML
Today, after a 16-hour day fixing the computer network at my workplace, I didn't even get a "Thank you". I did, however, get people whining about how, "That computer crap never works" and, "Why do we need IT anyway?" FML
Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML
Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zebidee 9
To be honest though, if you work with other peoples' keyboards, boogers are probably the least worrisome bodily secretions you're likely to encounter.
amerwin 3
Hand sanitized would be clutch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (47)
reesey0809 0
it's called ghost by LAN. don't even have to go near dude.
Anarkhy 0
#7 - that cat is awesome!
Zebidee 9
You type with your dick?
C6Racer 0
Um, yea. Doesn't everybody?
Zebidee 9
That explains some of the comments...
Zebidee 9
To be honest though, if you work with other peoples' keyboards, boogers are probably the least worrisome bodily secretions you're likely to encounter.
siege10 0
^win
BadKitty13 28
Ewwwwwwwwwwww ! that is frigging disgusting ! Ya i would wear gloves or bring my own mouse and keyboard. Then if he questions you you can tell him he's a pig !! lol !
Sirin_fml 47
I'm quoting that in the QDB because it's true :-)
cul8r 4
Just tell him not to pick his nose in your prescence - anyone's prescence. He shouldn't be offended, it's only fair to talk about.