Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML
Today, I got written up for filing a complaint against IT for unplugging my computer while I was on my lunch break. I found out because one of my workmates warned me. I work with a computer so old, it takes about 40 minutes to get it running. The company refuses to update the equipment, because "it's unnecessary." FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML
Today, after a 16-hour day fixing the computer network at my workplace, I didn't even get a "Thank you". I did, however, get people whining about how, "That computer crap never works" and, "Why do we need IT anyway?" FML
Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML
Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
To be honest though, if you work with other peoples' keyboards, boogers are probably the least worrisome bodily secretions you're likely to encounter.
amerwin 3
Hand sanitized would be clutch.
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Comments (47)
Zebidee 9
YESsssss!! I finally made the QDB. And by 'finally' I mean on its second day. I feel that I've arrived. And by 'arrived' I mean - well - you know what I mean. Ladies and gentlemen, you can view this and other classic comment thread quotes on the new and completely unapproved, unofficial, likely-to-get-her-fired-for-wasting-company-time, FML Quote Database by visiting Sirin's profile for the link.
AMAZINashleigh 6
Use a lot of sanitizing equipment. Haha. That's pretty nasty.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
You shouldn't have asked him to share his lunch. YDI for being a begging hobo despite holding an IT job.
joethemaggio 0
It's a nose!!!! Get over it man!!!!! How many people do you think don't wash their hands after using the restroom? Or how many people do you think sneeze all over their keyboard or even sneeze on their hand and then use the keyboard?! You're stupid to think your life sucks because you have to touch a keyboard after another person. Oh and guess what... You're hands are washable!!! Do your job and stop complaining!
thisgirl2u 9
Although this is pretty disgusting, I look on the bright side at least you did spot him doing this before hand and now you know to sanitize the keyboard. Problem solved. Imagine working on the computer first and then afterwards realizing that your colleague was an obsessive nose picker that did not wash his hands in between sessions.
WillKill4Beer 0
Give him the Blue Screen of Death and kick him out of the Client/ Server Network.
dt520 4
who works in IT without their own equipment? i'm still in school and i know that one.
slap_u_much 6
bring a lysol spray or wipes. if the caveman asks, either tell him the truth or its a force of habit that u like a clean keyboard. if that is u have to fix his comp again
savvy_suzy 0
It should be common practice for IT people to use their own keyboards and mice. If it isn't where you work, introduce the practice and explain that it is more sanitary. Take control of your own health and life. You do not need to be behooved to anyone's sensibilities other than your own.
firemanrob 0
that's just nasty....