Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML
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Top comments
Incubuss 0
YDI. Who the hell says a line like that?
tomakobriefs 11
Lame pickup line is lame.
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Comments (144)
baba_ganoush 0
ydi for using such a lame line
teiso_fml 0
It's a pretty bad line. As bad as the one-liners give to girls a lot.
Hockeylover87_71 0
1. you suck when it comes to guys 2.that is THE lamest pickup line EVER!!! 3. a phone and a hard on do not look the same, because guys do not carry a phone around in their crotch all day! that's like saying is that your phone or do you have a boner on your leg??
anonymous1109 4
who's ur favorite hockey team? lol
CFR 0
HAHAHA LAME! I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if you were aware of it. This is why I'd rather a guy come up to me, it's usually much better that way. It's bad enough when guys use those kind of lines, there's no way girls should use them at all...
waterynuggets 0
Lame. With how small phones are today, I wouldn't of been impressed.
desichick23 0
FAIL.
c_money150 0
You tried... give you props for that much
darkshadow_fml 0
YDI for using the stupidest line EVAR
partylobster 0
I feel bad for you.
justmyluck1212 0
why would he have a boner in his pocket?
Kofu 0
Sorry, but first off, #73, you are a dunce. It's one of the longest running jokes of this decade.. probably longer, now that I think of it. Back to the original FML, I have some respect because you had the stones to use such a ridiculous line and expect it to work on an average guy. If someone said that to me, I would probably laugh my ass off, then at least give you a shot. Just remember that most guys will find that outright stupid. Be careful, mm?