Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with a majestic swan by a lake. Just as I was about to take the pic, the swan suddenly got visibly bored of my shit and chased me into the water. I emerged from the lake looking like a soggy, defeated swamp beast. FML
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
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Top comments
Dubstep_fml 1
this fml is full of shit.
jw90 18
why do birds always seem to shit on human beings? someday we should just shit on them back and see how they like it. yea...that'll show em to poop on me.
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Comments (35)
ObadiahtheSlim 2
YDI. Geese are dirty disgusting animals and only exist as a blight upon our fair lands. It's people like you who keep them fed.
xsmiLey_faceex3 0
LMfAO wow; i agree your life sucks. One good thing that comes out of it though is when a bird ***** on you, apparently it's good luck :D
Ingkognito 4
That's... Kind of gross...
lexi0413 1
that sucks but I bet you're kids had a good story to tell everybody
Clubkicker_fml 0
In geese, that means thanks for the shitload of bread have some shit.
itsmichellebitch 16
Well thats a shitty situation.
T1A2Z3 35
It doesn't sound like a smart plan to take your kids anywhere near geese. They're very vicious birds