Today, it was my 23rd birthday. I didn't make it to my party because I was rear-ended on the way there by a 16-year-old in a red mustang going 50+ mph. My birthday cake landed in my lap and I was yelled at by his mother for getting chocolate icing on their insurance card. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Banger birthday
Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Where's mah caaaaake?
Today, it was my mother’s birthday. I was on my way to pick up her cake but I got into a car accident and ended up in the emergency room. When I call her to explain what happened, she called me an useless fuck for ruining her birthday by not bringing the cake. She’s yet to ask if I'm okay. FML
Anyone for cake?
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Baby don't hurt me...
Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML
Smash
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
People have ******-up priorities. Icing on the insurance card is not important in an accident like this! The truly important thing is: What are the people at the party supposed to do without cake? They came expecting cake and you failed them. How are they supposed to carry on?
rlocicero 21
nobody likes you when you're 23
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Comments (20)
olga_crvjl 19
Well happy birthday to you lol
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How did the cake spill in your lap? Was it not in the passenger seat? But regardless, a 16-year-old driving a Mustang? Yeah, that sounds safe. I've always been convinced that 16-year-olds aren't mature enough to drive, regardless of what the legal age is. And the mother sounds like a typical enabler. Sorry, OP. FYL
Steve115s 7
They can go screw themselves, it was his fault
Lacy Tinsley 7
oh you poor thing, that cuntnugget of a woman should get her stuff straight.. her freaking immature son should not be allowed to drive ever again.