Today, it was my 23rd birthday. I didn't make it to my party because I was rear-ended on the way there by a 16-year-old in a red mustang going 50+ mph. My birthday cake landed in my lap and I was yelled at by his mother for getting chocolate icing on their insurance card. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Today, it was my mother’s birthday. I was on my way to pick up her cake but I got into a car accident and ended up in the emergency room. When I call her to explain what happened, she called me an useless fuck for ruining her birthday by not bringing the cake. She’s yet to ask if I'm okay. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
People have ******-up priorities. Icing on the insurance card is not important in an accident like this! The truly important thing is: What are the people at the party supposed to do without cake? They came expecting cake and you failed them. How are they supposed to carry on?
rlocicero 21
nobody likes you when you're 23
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Comments (20)
Max Curry 6
did she wish it was vanilla?
rlocicero 21
nobody likes you when you're 23
RichardPencil 32
People have ******-up priorities. Icing on the insurance card is not important in an accident like this! The truly important thing is: What are the people at the party supposed to do without cake? They came expecting cake and you failed them. How are they supposed to carry on?
arioch_fml 20
The cake is a lie, they never had any hopes of getting any.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, they had hopes! Hope for cake is all they had. The OP probably ate the entire cake himself (I like to do that on my birthday...or Saturday) and made up the car crash story to elicit sympathy and deflect the scorn of stealing everyone's cake-hope.
Little Richard 11
The only solution here, is for Richard to buy them a new cake. Go ahead Richard!
Maleficus_fml 12
You should have shoved the rest of that cake in her face. just don't get anymore on the card though
wmayrhofer 18
If you bought your own cake and it ended up in your lap when you got rear-ended, were you already eating it on the way to your party with your tv and your cat?
JoviRose 11
Or maybe it was sitting on the dashboard. I don't understand how it managed to get on her lap from being rear-ended. Something smells fishy...
Genos115 15
You getting there should have been a cake walk
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
call the cops on them...
Lobby_Bee 18
I hope she isn't injured too bad..... after you ripped her a new asshole.
corky1992 33
happy birthday to you lol
TashaCantrell 16
I think I would be interested to know as to why you brought your own birthday cake to your own party.
raven_of_azarath 35
Maybe OP is the one who planned the party.