Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. Then one said to the other, "Nope, she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while holidaying in Greece, I approached a cute girl in a club and offered her a drink in Greek. She said, "No Greek!" and then called me an "ugly kiss-ass" in English, thinking I wouldn't understand. I'm Australian. FML
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
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Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
Maybe you're better off being a mime.
superyoyo33 0
This is still a better love story than twilight.
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Comments (248)
fuzion50 6
They called u a she. Are you a lesbian?
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
Are you an idiot?
micahsmommy 13
You've never heard of drop dead gorgeous guys? Girls can be stunned by guys too.
kristabelli 19
She's a she, and the two Australians are men. Get it?
KeyboardWarrior 10
You assume too much. They could be men. Edit: My bad. It's already been said. :l
fernclogger 5
Honestly I thought one of two things OP is a guy who was mistaken for a girl or IS a girl.. So I can see where this guy is comin from
ruebenrios 0
Well... Thats sucks
Awsumuzzie 12
You should have directed them to your house.
Teabubbles 8
lol that does suck! oh well, missed your chance. There is always a next time :) good luck!
micahsmommy 13
Tale them each by the hand and walk with them. Who cares if they don't think you speak English? You're surrounded by hot Australians.
micahsmommy 13
*Take
merimar3 4
guys say "Raise up lights" in an Australian accent! PROFIT! :D
heyitslexx 3
Razor Blades?? :D
cc_the_beast 6
No, doesn't really work with an Australian accent.
belly292 0
what's so funny about it? D: I'm Australian and I don't hear anything amusing :(
erin37 27
Australian is the least accented English in the world. Therefore everyone else is the one with the accent.
australianchick 8
How is this funny? It sounds completely normal. Us Aussies talk the same at you guys, we aren't like the stereotypical bullsh*t that you think we sound like. Some of us might live in the outback and stuff, but we still have suburbia, city's and sound almost the same as you guys. I find this very offensive.
ezelisko 1
learn sign language....
Dajucy1 7
Good idea, because everybody can understand sign language right?
JustStella 28
I did something like that once... He asked my sister for her name, and then mine. I babbled like an idiot then said my sister's name. He laughed in my face. Beauty does that to you.
bleedwell 7
Sucks for you. FYL.
olpally 33
And that's a down right shame...