Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML
Today, as I was taking a walk, I heard a cyclist and so I wanted to move to the other side of the sidewalk for them. It turns out that I walked directly in front of them instead. Nearly scared them to death. FML
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
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Top comments
yamatelle 19
As I read through this, I was expecting the stalker to wait for you around the corner. The midgets were completely unexpected.
LardZilla 11
Wow, that's just some bad luck.
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Comments (102)
steadycreepin 5
Well, what are the odds?
mistersheezy 7
I think you got the short end of that plan.
ANGRY_BLAKSHEEP_ 0
PUN
Enslaved 38
They were probably staring and just wondering what you were doing. I highly doubt they felt you were imitating them.
structuredchaoz 4
Moral of the story, even midgets should mind their own damn business.
Bea_FaCurtains 17
They were probably unhappy because you called them midgets.
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for using the m word
freckleface221 19
Is vertically challenged better?
bubbles42597 0
That's the technical term for who they are, it's not like she called them one of snow whites friends
jessthebest3 0
Actually.. I AM a little person. And literally no other little people I know go by the M word. Its actualy considered offensive. Don't be ignorant.
crystalrain17 14
You should really call them "little people"...
whoopdydoop69 6
or "fun sized" people!
poor_gurll1198 17
Hey, don't vote that down. Little people are people with feelings too. I had a relative go through horrible depression because people were making fun of her for being a "midget" or "fun sized"
miz66independent 1
So I take it that one wasn't happy. He must have been grumpy.
colorfullyemo 4
You should have told him the "short" explanation.
The_creator_fml 2
They probably thought you were after there lucky charms