Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML
Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML
Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML
Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
feven 32
Hopefully you don't see a future with her either.
Tripartita 45
Did you tell her to ensure her psychic bond with the phone was strong after holding it for a while to transfer her energies into it? I too have trouble prognosticating with my phone, which is why I usually use my crystal ball, but if she /really/ tries, she could see all sorts of futures with you. Maybe you should tell her she's not making enough effort and then show her how a real psychic sees a future.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
jmagd781 16
She's not worth losing your sleep over.
loxe_fml 15
Seems like you dodged a bullet in my opinion
sparky82 11
That's exactly my thought.
shaaza 16
She's not a keeper.
james_logan 19
Maybe a striker or a defender?
Hunter_the_Ninja 22
Maybe even a mid
anonymuse_fml 31
Possibly a beater? I highly doubt she is a seeker....
feven 32
Hopefully you don't see a future with her either.
festibal 6
You're better off op
tosdyke 16
better now, than being really invested in her...
CaroLouWho 10
I managed to fall in love with the worst texter on the planet and I still see a future with her. Jesus. (I mean, she does other things right.) And I'm pretty clingy and in need of validation.
Tripartita 45
Did you tell her to ensure her psychic bond with the phone was strong after holding it for a while to transfer her energies into it? I too have trouble prognosticating with my phone, which is why I usually use my crystal ball, but if she /really/ tries, she could see all sorts of futures with you. Maybe you should tell her she's not making enough effort and then show her how a real psychic sees a future.
james_logan 19
I myself use the new Crystal Ball app developed by Gypsies Inc.
graceh1211 20
your comments are the best. I'm always looking out for them
socialproduct 19
Turn on your auto-reply messages before you go to sleep. I recommend: Tell me more I agree That's interesting She'll never know you're sleeping and you'll be the best listener ever.
xDrakeNinja 12
Hey, what time should we go over to the park? "Tell me more"
socialproduct 19
Haha. Very true, those wouldn't really hold up against questions. Guess we just have to hope that OP's GF isn't very inquisitive.
molliekatz 6
If she's THAT needy buy her a puppy....a woman should understand that IF you have a job you actually go to she should keep her face hole closed and accept that sometimes you sleep!
OhPuhleeze 23
I don't get it. What is wrong with some women? I recall my friends girlfriend breaking off the engagement simply because he did not answer to her phone calls as she was returning home after the engagement. Her "logic" was if he doesn't care enough to answer to my calls now, how would he treat me after the marriage? She completely ignored the fact that the guy was a sailor who had returned home after 14 months and was surrounded by 80 family members who were there to not just celebrate the engagement but also for the guy's mothers birthday the next day. Good riddance to bad rubbish I say. Better to have found out these traits before you got married and she took away half your stuff, kids and the dog from you. How do I say it's not an FML but a WIN !!!