Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bugging out
Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML
Enjoy your stay
Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML
I'm so tired
Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML
Today, the lack of heating in my room has gotten to the point where I have to cuddle my clothes for the next day at night so they're not freezing when I wake up. FML
Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Just a question
Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML
Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML
Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
creepy....
A_Dirty_Syn 0
haha. I would had called the police.
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Comments (168)
Haitch 0
That is... very strange.
AndelleRae 9
That's really creepy. I'd say have a chat with management, and barricade the door before you go to bed tonight.
pokemyeyes 23
Yea definitely report him to management or police but why stay? Move to another hotel ffs
plexico 4
How much do you tip for that? Does that count as Guardian Angel Room Service?
palleas_fml 0
lol, it's a game of yours to interpret things the other way around, right? :)
Intellectualist 0
wrong, it's a lifestyle.
palleas_fml 0
a lifestyle? even better :p
plexico 4
You are actually both right. I don't come here to re-word every else's version of "that sucks" or "YDI for being a *****." In this case, everyone is looking at the receptionist as a "creeper," which he/she probably is, so I take on the creative challenge to make the creeper look worthy of a tip. It's fun.
XOfiestypixie 0
Plus it's just the way Plex's mind works. =) Something innocent get's turned into something dirty by him. Someone creepy gets a positive spin put on them by him. Hi Plexico. =)
Intellectualist 0
I thought that your name was fiesty pie. I am upset :( We all know and love the plexico :)
plexico 4
Hi, pixie, You all are catching up. I might soon have to go for the double-switcheroo where I take something innocent, make it seem dirty, but then make it innocent again. Challenging.
palleas_fml 0
haha, actually, fml is so much better thanks to the comments of a few (most of the comments are just a waste of time, random hate and so...). It's actually quite easy to spot the fun commenters, I usually just go to these comments! So thank you! :p
XOfiestypixie 0
That would be interesting to see you try. I'm sure you could make it work. =)
Intoxicunt 6
Pixie, let's have his babies. NOW. :)
XOfiestypixie 0
Agreed! Who doesn't want to have Plexi's babies?
Intoxicunt 6
Crazies and guys.
plexico 4
OK, here's what we do: Toxi and pixie road-trip to Texas. I ditch my wife with my credit card in a shoe store and then I meet you two and we get to business starting the Toxi-plex and the Pixie-plex. It's going to cost me a lot, but it will be worth it, I promise. Everyone will be happy! :)
Intoxicunt 6
I love how we all have an 'x' in our names. We are....TRIPLE X! Dun dun dun. Anyway, that plan is great, minus the credit card thing. I'm going to need it for the same purposes. I'll give you some counterfeit money to drop her off with.
plexico 4
Toxi, I have more than one credit card, and when orgiastic sex is proffered, my normal common sense about financial matters goes out the window. If you want to go shoe-shopping while Pixie and I are in congress, that's fine with me, but you should check with her.
Intoxicunt 6
Ah, thank you for telling me that. Now I can use it against you. =] All your money belongs to me. Don't worry, I won't spend it all (in one place). I'm not invited to join? Well, I guess downtime could be best spent spending your money.
Intoxicunt 6
I'm amused at us. The fellow FML members have watched our "relationship" blossom from friendly comments to sexual banter to baby-having to me spending all your money and demanding transatlantic trips. It's just like a marriage!
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Awwwh, Plexico and Intoxicunt, sittin' in a tree. Now Toxi's spending all his mo-oney.
Intoxicunt 6
Teehee! He admittedly doesn't mind. According to him, "it's worth it". :)
plexico 4
#65 And after a while, you begin withholding the sex, it will be EXACTLY like a marriage. And the trips you demand are without me. I said if you'd rather shop while I am with Pixie, that is OK. We'd certainly love to have you stay.
Intoxicunt 6
Withholding sex!? You don't know me very well...yet. ;) And I wouldn't take a trip without you! Basically, the opposite of all that is true. Ah, well then, I'll shop some other time, like while you're asleep.
XOfiestypixie 0
Wow, I missed a lot. Yay road trip with Toxi! Yay shopping! Yay Plexico!
YDIBITCHES 0
Am I a fun commenter?
plexico 4
You sure did! Did you want Toxi to stay with us or go shopping. She'd like to stay, I'm OK either way, so it's up to you. There is no wrong answer.
lrb081 0
whoa
CloudEnvy 17
Top tip: Never trust London.
netfreak 0
OK OK first of all is the receptionist a man or woman?
threer 30
Doesn't matter.. It's creepy either way.
TheRoker 0
First! And that's creepy!
rukusrazor 0
Huh? I'm betting you're this many... *holds up hand with 3 fingers up*
LebChickOnFira 0
LOOOL thats funny
rukusrazor 0
I haven't favorited a FML in a long time... This was great.
01100110 0
Your mind is in the right place