Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I had to hear my neighbor whine again through the walls because he can't talk in a quiet voice. You can hear him from across the street, and that's before he gets drunk. FML
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Top comments
PennyLane27 32
Next time you're in there, howl in the toilet. That should throw her off ;)
Stonedmanalex 0
Thats strange, How would you react to that?
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Comments (53)
anencephalic 14
If it's any relief, it's a quite common phenomena, one can hear both urination and copulation in my apartment.
Iriz 0
That's weird in so many ways... You should put a radio in your restroom n turn it on everytime you go in there... and if says something about that tell her to get a life and stop tryin to hear you guys going bathroom...
HomeAl0ne 20
She claims she can tell, but how would she check her guess? Get a ten gallon container full of water and perch it above the toilet. Punch a hole in the side and let it noisily drain into the cistern for the next 20 minutes or so. That should throw her off the scent.
linnie_wesker 20
That's really creepy. Stop talking to her.
graceinsheepwear 34
I can understand if it is a male and a female. The urine stream is much more forceful in a male. I have experienced being able to tell in close quarters also.
LolaBunny07 10
When I was pregnant I had the hardest time using the restroom. Even just taking a piss took 30 minutes at times. I spent a lot of time camped out in the bathroom. I could tell which of my upstairs neighbors was peeing and I could tell you their schedule. I didn't want to know this but I was forced to learn it. Trust me. It's the apt.