Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I finally had enough reward points for a free coffee. As the barista handed it to me, the lid popped off and the entire drink landed on the floor before I even took one sip. FML
Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I tried to sip my coffee quietly during a quiet meeting. Instead, I inhaled it, started choking, and sprayed lukewarm coffee all over my notes, my shirt, and unfortunately, my boss. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure she hates me now. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
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Top comments
rocker_chick105 31
And there goes my appetite...
lysx84 24
Why didn't you tell him it was there, like half an hour ago?
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Comments (106)
Accuraxy 10
Throw that shit out...unless of course it's a Starbucks frappuccino....
Enslaved 38
"Here's a tissue. You need to clean your nose." If said 29 minutes ago, those words could have saved your coffee.
RedPillSucks 33
or lost her a job, depending on the boss
Enslaved 38
A boss is going to fire you because you're politely letting him know he has something in his nose? Not a chance! :P Btw the OP is drinking a coffee in front of her manager. I'd say it's a more relaxed job environment.
cottoncandymango 17
That's an unusual selection for a creamer... But seriously, you should've just kindly told your boss and handed 'em a tissue. The odds were ever in your favor.
day624 14
Arguably one of the sickest things I've ever read here
fairlight_deck 6
Why do people not tell people when shit like this is going on? You're a dick, OP.
melons 44
I love you too.
PaintedTempest 14
No need to be rude! #43
worldclassrager 41
What does golf have to do with this? I know that was horrible...time for another cup of coffee...
booboohoney 12
YDI for not offering a tissue 30 min ago
PimpdaddyCJT 13
That is disgusting did you tell him this?
MadisonDerp 16
"Cleveland Voice" Ooh that's nasty
kernelkat 16
Oh god my mouth was full of spaghetti when I read this, took everything in me to swallow.