Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I finally had enough reward points for a free coffee. As the barista handed it to me, the lid popped off and the entire drink landed on the floor before I even took one sip. FML
Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I tried to sip my coffee quietly during a quiet meeting. Instead, I inhaled it, started choking, and sprayed lukewarm coffee all over my notes, my shirt, and unfortunately, my boss. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure she hates me now. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
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Top comments
rocker_chick105 31
And there goes my appetite...
lysx84 24
Why didn't you tell him it was there, like half an hour ago?
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Comments (106)
stormchaser24 24
Well, be happy it did not land in your month, eye, or on you. Just get some more coffee, if your company provides it. And throw up the bogey latte.
Le112 12
you have YOUR OWN MONTH?!
Andosworld 8
Snot his fault.
williemac98 8
Why was your coffee underneath the manager's nose?
melons 44
He was leaning over the desk, right in the firing line of my fresh brew.
FlyingLeumer 19
See, I'm just gonna have to be the gross guy who comments "Free flavoring! "
singer0421 32
Why didn't anyone tell him/her??
AFur 10
I think I just puked a little....
perdix 31
The normal and obvious thing to do is to throw out the coffee. Now, if you want to become Employee of the Month and a company legend, you'll drink it down like a soldier!
Beva_fml 15
Eww.. tell your manager next time!
melons 44
I'm hoping there's never a next time.
Beva_fml 15
Yeah, on a closer thought so do I :P
DocBastard 40
There are actually people out there who advocate eating mucus. They say it strengthens the immune system. Yes, seriously.
perdix 31
#22, it's probably that Kelly Clarkson theory -- what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
melons 44
Sadly, my boyfriend is one of those people. I didn't know this before we got together, otherwise this may have influenced things.
Enslaved 38
I once had a coworker that tried to convince me to drink my own urine (like he does) because it promotes good health."Yeah, no thanks". :P Surprising it's a common practice for more people than I thought there would be.
ZeroPath5 16
You have quite a boyfriend then
melons 44
38, how was his breath?
Enslaved 38
Melons (god your name cracks me up!) His breath was fine. I wouldn't have even known he did that until I had the flu and he was trying to give me medical advice to strengthen my immune system.
TwinkleToes7 15
Ew, that makes me gag! Poor you...