Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I got home with stomach pain and immediately did a 10 second long farting, splattering, spluttering shit into the toilet. Now I know the walls are thin in my flat, but I wasn’t expecting the hot guy next door to say to me through the wall, “Jesus, are you alright in there?” FML
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML
Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
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Top comments
sarah2144 14
FYL. That's pretty nasty. You should stand outside the bathroom and clap when he's done. Maybe he won't want to use the bathroom anymore after you do that a few times.
docscientist 10
With pleasure.
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Comments (35)
muffpuncher 0
you should tap on the wall everytime he's dropping a deuce.
lmaoatall 6
just be gratefull he didn't attach the fart fan vents to run through your office area. that would be when the shit hit the fan for me!
Nimmrodel 11
Clever stuff.
lmaoatall 6
my husbands in construction, I know these things!
Nimmrodel 11
I thought they were extractor fans. :p
lmaoatall 6
exhaust fans, yeah but I like fart fans.
MissEmma_fml 22
Get a job. Then you won't be in all day.
Ronan_k 0
Well if OP is in his/her 'office' then they are most likely self employed or just work from home.
Sparx1_1 16
If your description is literally accurate then he probably does have a bowel disease. Gross but not his fault - get some speaker's for your iPod and try to ignore it.
SeedlessMe 13
I totally feel your pain! I sit right near the men's room at work and I get to hear it all day long too!.... At least I can play music.. Ugh
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
that really sucks OP, but presumably he can't help it (plus he's probably really embarrassed about it)... tell him I guess? or, just invest in a subwoofer
docscientist 10
Invest in some LOUD NOISES
PassTheDutch 0
yea I completely agree about not wanting to listen to music while working but I thinks it's better then listening to someone take a loud shit.
Miranday 0
What a crappy boss.
Hannuts 0
do you really need to add in the details about the poop haha