Today, the girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks lost her mind and yanked my car's e-brake while we were on the highway. Why? Because I said I wasn't really interested in having kids. Guess I'll cross that relationship off as a "hell no". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML
Today, my girlfriend flipped out and dumped me. According to her, not stopping for a dog in the road makes me a sociopath and unsuitable for a relationship. Yes, because slamming on my brakes or swerving into the next lane while doing 75 on the highway and causing a wreck made so much more sense. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML
Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML
Today, I proposed. She immediately said no and then broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
meatloaf11 23
Time to pull the e-break on your relationship.
bradleybaldwin 9
Bitch put both your lives in danger.
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Comments (54)
CamBamShamDaMan 26
If that bitch did that to me she is ******* walking home.
Soverain 15
You dodged a bullet there. No rational person would endanger the lives of everyone around them. Her reaction was way uncalled for and I hope she never reproduces.
Etweens96 25
Get away from her as soon as possible! But I'm glad you're alright op!
Madrias 36
After that, I don't care if it was the middle of the highway, I'd be pulling over, telling her to get out of the car, and leaving her on the side of the road. Want to endanger everyone around you? You better hope your shoes were made for walking, because that's all you're gonna do, because I have no plans on driving on with you.
vOIDmASS 13
Sounds dangerous. Put a stop to it and leave her in the dust.
thatweirdasian 22
"Hell no" is right! But kudos to you for being a gentleman and for not telling her to get out of the car. At least you know early on that it won't be working out. Phew! I hope she doesn't pull this kind of ridiculous "stunt" on anybody else in the future. *shudders*
laden_swallow09 35
She will. Crazy doesn't fix itself.
IcedSapphire 27
Reminds me of the time my ex ripped the keys out of the ignition while I was driving, mid-fight. Glad you're cutting her off!
Shadowvoid 33
I want to say I have a hard time believing that people like this exist, but there are too many stories for me to say there are not.
CharmedFML 9
Hard to have kids when you're dead. Don't E-brake and drive kids.
JayBug6 9
A few weeks??? Yeah time to move on!!!