Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
TSA
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Never joke with TSA
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Smugglers unite
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
How much?
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
Today, the security at the airport were nice enough to remind me to take the laptop out of my bag. I wish they'd also reminded me to put it back in before I left. FML
Top comments
ArtIsResistance7 1
Time to do some good ol' fashion exercise... Put your hands up to the ceiling, bend your knees, and touch your toes. Do your daily exercises, you're gonna look like skin and bone. :)
Monado 0
Were you too big to fit through the metal detector too?
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Comments (202)
Griggy 0
You live in Pennsylvania... I'm sure you're not the first person he's said that to...
Tpain297 0
Haha, your one fat ************.
mrwelsh3 0
that's ******* gross you deserve no sympathy
sykokitti 15
wtf? they're allowed to do that? I cant do that job that's so mean! get a walking buddy and get your sexy back on! my cousin did it so can you! go get em girl I have faith in you!
slushpup9696 12
Well, you deserve it for having fat rolls. Nobody sits by you and forces cake down your throat, right? Of course, she could have a medical condition, but usually fat is just from not exercising and not eating healthy.
staymintyfresh 13
YDI so much. not saying your horrible for being fat, you just have to see these things conning.
MendelPotok 0
Man oh man, that's gotta hurt! p90x workout program Honey, you'll get rid of those rolls.
calivianya 29
I just read yesterday that TSA agents at one airport insisted on examining someone's colostomy bag. I'm pretty sure the TSA only hires psychopaths.
shinshoku13 19
Ouch! Were you in canada? Were so mean sometimes with regard to airport security
LolaSoLovely 0
I'm really sorry about what happened to you and all these hateful comments. no one on here knows enough about you to judge you because of your weight, for all we know you could be a diabetic. Show some humanity you dogs.