Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
That's when you kick him in the balls and tell him that's how men lose the ability to have children.
brainymes 30
That's where you say, "your face is the reason plastic surgery was invented."
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Comments (75)
bonesofkhaos 9
Wow what an asshole!
Headcrab 29
What rude asshole says things like this, on a date nonetheless.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well lucky he didn't mean to be rude...
Evil_Angel_90 7
As soon as someone says "I don't mean to be rude but" alarm bells should start ringing because that's when they're going to be the most rude. What an awful person to say that though
KBurns207 17
I understand a man would be more likely to say something like this, but there's literally no evidence of gender... It could be a female that said it too.
graceinsheepwear 34
OP is female and nothing about the fml sounds like it was a same sex date.
BeardedLondoner 24
How the hell do you know?
Neesalun 20
What's wrong with people? Couldn't they have just gone through the date until the end and just not asked for a second instead of making an insulting comment?
MidnaLink 35
"Same with your attitude, you jackass!"
summertime10 5
That's when you say, "Wow....I think we're soul mates. I was going to say the same thing about you!"
onlinetroll 14
he is the reason they have ****** in this world
chosha_fml 27
I hate to think what he says to people when he DOES mean to be rude.