Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
Today, I received a "Reply All" email from a colleague, in which they vented their frustration with our boss. Unbeknownst to them, our boss was included in the distribution list. Our whole open plan office became a silent comedy of awkward glances. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
wow.... how much of assholes can people be? It's not like you can control your own bodily functions. Maybe they should have just closed the vents.
allmidnighteyes 11
It's like... it's like your asshole is Mt. Vesuvius and the poor toilet is Pompeii and all of its unsuspecting residents.
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Comments (64)
Luckster 0
wow.... how much of assholes can people be? It's not like you can control your own bodily functions. Maybe they should have just closed the vents.
Zezing 0
Yes you can, its pepto bismol! :D upset stomach, DIaRRhEA!!
W33nie 0
oh yeah
aerosenna 0
* blearrrggghhhhhhhhhhhh pluak! pooot.. * "ahhhhhh" sounds good to me .. :)
GGnoRe 0
What's wrong with that? Now everyone has something to remember you by!
allmidnighteyes 11
It's like... it's like your asshole is Mt. Vesuvius and the poor toilet is Pompeii and all of its unsuspecting residents.
onehotdemon 0
LMAO! well said =P
GGnoRe 0
I feel sorry for all those little water molecules :(
commentator10101 0
"not everyone needs to hear", are you implying that only certain people do need to hear... what kind of a pervert are you... no one should need too or indeed want too listen to evacuate your bowels
onlysoph 0
What the hell? Like #1 said, you can't control your bodily functions. Maybe she got sick at work or has irritable bowel syndrome. She was in the TOILET at work. She didn't realise that everyone could hear her through the air conditioning vents. Sounds like her work needs to sort out their bathroom issues
alicexox 0
does that mean they can smell it too?
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Trying to... can't... stop.. ah screw it. Diarrhea song commence! When you are walking down the hall and feel something fall... Diarrhea... Diarrhea...
nokillnobeepbeep 0
lol, you never heard that song as a kid?
perdix 31
Some people think it's funny, but it's really hot and runny . . . diarrhea, diarrhea.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
♪ When you’re looking at your shoes and you feel something ooze: Diarrhea! Diarrhea! ♪
blastvortex 4
♪ When it comes out of your bum, like a bullet from a gun - Diarrhea! Diarrhea!♪
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
♪ When you’re shopping at the store and it’s dripping on the floor: Diarrhea! Diarrhea! ♪
cucumberfabulous 7
When you're climbin up the ladder, and you feel somethin splatter.. Diarrhea Diarrhea ..........???yea???? yea?? mmm..
greenltrn2003 0
If you're trynna walk around and you slip on something brown...
portable_chicken 0
When your going down the slide and you feel something glide.. diarrhea...diarrhea
thatoneguyinca 0
Yuck. Your a woman, your meant to be perfect and not gross. I guess that kinda shit happens when you leave the kitchen
Bright_Lights 14
******* sexist prick.
Nakedsquirrel 5
I warned you to go easy on the chili, hon.
mrblah 0
thats really bad. I can understand why they sent the email around but its still really tick