Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML
Today, after 25 years living with my dad, who is highly allergic to cats, I was finally able to adopt two kittens to live in my new place, just like I have always wanted. Guess who else is highly allergic to cats? Me, it seems. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML
Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML
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Top comments
Curtieeeez 0
You gotta love kids ;D
purple5 0
Hehe, cute! She's only three, so I wouldn't take her too seriously :3
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Comments (160)
kellster 2
Where's the "who cares/get over it" button? They're kids. They're three. They're disappointed. This isn't about whether or not they love you, care whether you're alive or dead, etc. They're THREE. They're too young to be sensitive, etc., and you should probably get used to the idea that kids don't think in terms of adult perspective about life and death just yet. They still love you, and given the choice, would love you more than a cat. I hope you're not truly confused about that.
Killuhk 8
I don't see what's wrong with everyone....this website is called fml, but honestly the OP's don't normally mean their life is going to hell...stories like this one made me actually laugh, which is why I continue reading more stories, as I assume the same goes for others. So calm down all your ranting and raving. Relax. Take a damn chill pill. Bc fml is a website intended to make people laugh which is exactly what this post did. so stop posting comments saying "you don't care, this isn't an fml, yada yada yada" because obviously you don't have a sense of humor in your miserable body
darkbrownmascara 0
YDI for being such a horrible father.
taylorjae424 0
What's YDI?
i_luv_dogs 10
You Deserved It
i_luv_dogs 10
12, you're stupid
mixedcalibaby 0
Aw what a lil prick. Lol
AnneFTW 17
Agree with # 11. There really needs to a "Get over it" button. Kids are kids. Get over it. You are going to die someday anyway, don't be so shocked XD
Demon_Squirtle 0
#15 HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! DIE?!?! =/ =P
shaPOW 0
It's not like she said "Well I can't wait until you die then!" As far as I can tell, she's fine with waiting until you go naturally... no biggie. =P
AngelRaven89 0
It's a fair question xD Get the kid a Mr. Bigglesworth.
Sjolie 0
Murder your kids and get that flat screen TV you've always wanted. See how they feel about that.
Demon_Squirtle 0
#19 What's to feel when they're dead? ...I'm just saying...
I2OI3 0
IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME I HEARD ABOUT CUTE LITTLE GIRLS KILLING THEIR FATHERS OVER KITTENS. IT'S A BIG PROBLEM THIS DAY AND AGE. ALL I CAN SAY IS WATCH YOUR BACK, WATCH YOUR BACK!