Today one of my flatmates told the rest of us to stop using the toilet after 10pm cause he's a light sleeper and the flushing noise wakes him up. After arguing about it, he gave us his 'permission' to use the toilet, but only if we don't flush until the next day. Guess who is always the first to wake up? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML
Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML
Today, I was woken up ungodly early by my dad, who didn't give me even 5 seconds to wake up before barking orders at me to clean the septic tank screen, because it was clogged, but he needed to go to work. Conveniently, he'd already had a shower and "didn't notice" the gurgling toilet until he was done. FML
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Today, it's the first day in 3 weeks that I'm in my flat after 7 a.m. due to a very busy work schedule. I was looking forward to a Saturday lie-in. Also today, my flatmate's alarm clock went off loudly from 7:30 to 10:30. He's in another country and his door is locked. Bye bye lie-in. FML
Today, my boyfriend accused me of making an FML about him. I let him know that if I were going to make an FML, it would be about how he doesn’t flush the toilet after he uses it. He responded by not flushing the toilet again this morning. FML
Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
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Top comments
christian1509 21
If the majority of y'all have a problem tell him his request inconveniences everyone else so either he finds a way to deal with it such as earplugs or headphones or he can find another place to live.
Colecto_fml 26
Kick him out. Why the hell would you stay with a roommate that disrespects even your basic needs? No roommate is better than a selfish jerkwad of a one
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Comments (53)
trucker2 33
Perhaps switch rooms - so his room is not next to the restroom, if at all possible...
Dominus101 20
when nature calls > convenience of a selfish roommate
c420racer 13
Tell Sheldon Cooper that this was NOT part of your roommate agreement and you do NOT need to adhere to a bathroom schedule. Flush that toilet and yell Bazinga!
JamieLuv2u 11
Having had many wacky housemates, I was very curious about the community response. Making a request that people flush as little as possible after 10pm, if asked respectfully...sure, reasonable. Unreasonable+power dynamics tend to get unworkable, quickly. Start documenting these conversations/requests. You may need it in the future. There are silicon earplugs called "Mack's" that can be found at any pharmacy section. They are incredible. I can sleep through anything with them, and I am a light sleeper too. Good luck!
anaheimangels40 11
Tell your flatmate to either deal with the flushing or find some place else to live. That is an asinine Request.
TheBrenster 2
Being a light sleeper is a personal problem. Fecal coliforms affect everyone.
drayloon 50
Sounds like he's full of almost as much shit as your toilet
RedCronos 17
Tell him not to go to sleep past 10 because you guys use the toilet.
crazyclaymates 2
There's a Mitchell and Webb Look skit about this, which recommends not flushing at night unless it's a poo, in which case you yell out, "IT WAS A POO! IT WAS A POO!" I suggest adapting this measure.
commandokid 13
Is it not common decency to wait until the next morning? In my house we have the rule 'if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down' during the night. During the day flush as much as you want but at night it's just courteous to wait to flush pee until the morning. At least that's how I was brought up
Pinwheel 10
I don't see the decency of a bathroom smelling like piss when I walk in there in the morning.
polsen4273 8
Yes, I agree. Only #2s get flushed ir everyone is in bed