Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
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Top comments
audyy_fml 0
"a tube of half-used lube".. this is really different than a half-used tube of lube..
AliSama 17
what is Astroglide? seriously? *google is my friend* Ewww. lol.
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Comments (32)
BloodyMary666 24
Oh my God, I would´ve died on the spot! O.o
Shortiejordi 0
How awkward(:
heralynn1011 0
Nice rhyme . But it should be a halve a tube of lube .
teenagedream13 1
*half
froggycutie22 4
what is astroglide?
sockmonkey576 6
Hey, you guys, ever think she may have a boyfriend??? 0_0
Steel_BZ 8
So just because she is a girl means she can't be prepared & protect herself?? That was dumb..
ILoveZombieBoys 13
Don't keep lube in the top drawer!
greenman42 10
You could have played it off and said your roommate must have put it there as a prank
FMLworthy5000 21
Did your parents nail a cross over your bed? Or did they douse you in holy water while speaking the bible in Latin?
worldclassrager 41
What's wrong with masturbating? Just a little embarrassment