Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Take some credit! You're pumping some good ideas into her ;)
rapunzel3416 28
She's just focusing on the boring stuff to last longer... That's how that works right? Right?
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Comments (52)
diego92 13
You are doing something wrong then...
Sathane 21
Multitasking!
JanaTheWolf 16
Just what I was about to say :)
RA91 26
O_O woooow!!!
indyone 5
What is she teaching third graders?
myshinynose 11
Lol If you don't have your partner reduced to a puddly blob of slurred words and goofy grinning by the end of it, you're not doing it right ;) Just kidding OP, she needs to meet you halfway. It's easy for one's mind to wander sometimes but it's important to stay focused on the task at hand. Talk to her about it, I'm sure you guys will figure it out :)
nygreasemunky 5
Step up your game op!! Keep her interested! !
igg125 30
Whenever she is not in the mood just remind her that she'll be super productive the next day.
middlenamefrank 8
I read somewhere once that sexual arousal increases creativity and productivity doing intellectual tasks. So congratulations, you've gotten your wife highly aroused!
sammiaaron 16
what is she teaching these kids
janfleury 19
you get the creative juices flowing.