Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Take some credit! You're pumping some good ideas into her ;)
rapunzel3416 28
She's just focusing on the boring stuff to last longer... That's how that works right? Right?
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Comments (52)
scottishoatmeal 22
That's kinda weird
jake2226969 4
or maybe your hung like a third grader ?
iiTzNeeNerz 26
You're seriously reaching. In a very sick way.
chill99 15
You must bring out her creative juices...
totallynotemily 25
Dare I ask what the lesson plan is?
ThrottleJockey 36
1+1=3
enganerd 17
Maybe you need to work harder to keep her mind from wondering during sex.
puppie406 23
I doubt there's anything wrong with your performance op. I've thought of very mundane things while whacking it or *******, not because I was bored but because the human mind tends to wander in almost any situation.
Ayasha_fml 12
I've heard of having "eureka!" moments or epiphanies while in the shower, but this is new.
Vlen_fml 20
indeed, some of my greatest ideas came to me on the crapper or in the shower, but never mid-sex.
PuppiesKisses 19
Teachers! Always hard at work.
ragnarok1540 39
Talk to her and see if you can make some changes to your sex routine and make it more pleasurable for her. Adding or increasing the amount of foreplay may help. Remember, it takes two to tango.
FSGInsainity 15
Plot twist: That week is sex ed