Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML
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Tattery 2
I am so chuffed something finally went through, haha. The funniest thing is I actually eventually did so it by hand, then about an hour later, got my vibrator and did it all over again. The other funniest thing is that other than my boyfriend, I can't share my achievement at getting something posted. I'm so pleased but it can't show anyone else, haha.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
Ashamed_Sister 60
Get a divorce and start a new relationship (maybe with a man)
zandalee 20
Sounds like you literally; can't be ******. ;)
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Comments (84)
zandalee 20
Sounds like you literally; can't be ******. ;)
cakefete2 31
So true. Couldn't get up to get off.
jake_braves 25
Just get a bf OP lol. But don't get one just to get laid.
steve31789 8
I hope you are not to lazy to get it on as well!!
Mexico_WC2018 16
Just go f*ck yourself...literally....Excusez mon français.... Sorry couldn't help myself
DragonPorn 15
You are quite literally the most retarded person on FML.
Peacelove0404 26
#64, there's no need to be rude. If you don't like a comment, that's what the dislike button is for.
TippyM 8
The point of this is to post something that happened bad and get it off your chest, not fight with eachother because of differences in opinion.
lovelostcause 5
That's pretty pathetic I bet you are single
MisterEx 28
You're on! Show the money!
urdirtyolduncle 15
Only disgusting, slutty, horny girls have such vile things as vibrators. How unholy. Watch them all thumb down my comment.
AlwaysWatching 27
I don't think your username goes very well with your comment, #39
Ashamed_Sister 60
Get a divorce and start a new relationship (maybe with a man)
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Or lady whichever way she swings
xBOGGSx 3
It never says she's married, she just says "married to myself"
SystemofaBlink41 27
*WOOSH*
tifdunc 14
Thanks for clearing that up 15
zarosian 17
That joke went way over your head.
star14394 20
I wonder what your husband would say if you were married
ethanszlez 14
maybe time for a divorce
Vagitarian1 10
Two words: Mental masturbation.
zandalee 20
Sounds like too much work to me!
cakefete2 31
Don't say "no" right away. Would you at least think about it? ;p
loldatssad 12
#9, the old Telekinesis trick, eh?
Daveyboy75 11
You're obviously doing something wrong
kelsorg 21
I think many women can relate. fyl horny and lazy
SmokinGuns 13
Nah, I'm never too lazy for sex.
kelsorg 21
there was no one there to sex... too lazy to please yourself is what I meant