Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent ages cleaning my house, only for my toddler to spill a box of cereal right when I'd finished. As I cleaned up the mess, the dog dragged the cereal into almost every room. All the floors now have what I can only describe as "surprise crunch zones." FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You need to take that back to the store. Clearly, you should be getting a LIVE, huge cockroach! What fun for a child is a dead one? She should have to run it down, capture it, kill it while enjoying it's little roachy screams and then eat it. No wonder kids are so soft, fat and lazy these days, we taking all the joy out of childhood by giving them cereal will pre-killed roaches. Thanks for making Texas proud.
tinuelena 0
**** HER life! lol :) Gross, though. Did she spit it out or did you have to fish it out of her mouth?
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Comments (80)
Aerianna 0
Serve that up with some melted chocolate and bon appetite.
sodaaddict 0
I have a 3 year old sister, and she's not that stupid - hasn't been since she was 1! either you're lying, or you have a really stupid kid.
ediciusNJ 0
I think a lot of people who submit stuff on here in the 'kids' category have really stupid kids. Just sayin'...
kitkatkelly 0
Ahahahaha. This is one of the funniest FMLs yet -- such a perfect image.
SAJ1111 0
If you dont have kids, you really shouldnt be judging. I'm guessing this was a boy.... Boys and girls are very different. When I was three I would have screamed until the bug was gone. I have a 3 year old son who still puts everything in his mouth and picks up everything * including a snake, he must of thought I enjoyed it despite my screams of horror and terror* Kids do things very fast, doesnt mean the mom wasnt watching her kid. roaches really arent a sign of a messy house. they're everywhere. including most of the restuarants you eat at. they hide in the walls and where its dark. OP, be happy that happened because you guys would have been eating that cereal not knowing what a gross thing was in there.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Om nom nom Tastes like chicken.
Ashbashcrashed 0
LOL! :)
Soulathyia 0
EW!!!! You need to take your child to the doctor or mental examination! Maybe you should get one too for being more upset about her finding it now instead of later! DON'T YOU KNOW THEY CARRY DISEASES! Stupid Bitch!
The_Mantis_19 0
Horrible parental influence. Allowing them to just dump food that someone else who may be starving could use is just wasteful and cruel. Then eating a Cockroach, you realize how much disease is carried by them? Very bad parenting. I blame you for not teaching your daughter better.
Salim_fml 0
You are actually a ******* idiot! They are 3 years old and dont know any better
Kervik 0
They thought it was a prize. A prize is normally made of plastic. Not teaching your kid not to eat plastic is bad parenting.
helloyellowduck 0
Where the hell are you buying your cereal?!
dramakat11 0
Ewww! Was the cockroach actually in the cereal or just already on the ground?
f_my_flip_life 5
Most of the prizes in cereal boxes are toys anyway so why the hell would the child put it in their mouth even at age three?? Somebody is clearly not educating their child properly...