Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML
Today, yet again, whenever I try to put on music in the car, my son starts chanting, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" to the tune of whatever I put on. It's been almost six months and it's driving me fucking crazy. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
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Top comments
way2go 16
It could be worse. If anyone else hears it, you can turn "shit" into "chips" or something... Maybe. Kids don't speak that clearly at first anyway
xxbvbsusanxx 21
I take it since you said "first real sentence", your son isn't old enough to be told something isn't okay to say? I'm sorry OP, that sounds really horrible, but also kind of funny. :) I'm sure it won't last for a long time, he'll find something else to say.
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Comments (40)
vlalam 24
Well, do you?
GiantMotherFukr 7
Really no idea huh. Sounds like dad has some explaining to do
UniqueVixen1988 9
I would be knocking some heads.
nana_88 10
His Dad !!
BvbArmy_0 18
His father taught him it
GuiLD15 7
Do you have a husband?
chenjitong1997 15
lmfao that is One sad story sometimes kids just pick up thongs others have said just say something positive and get them to repeat it
Aussiegirl1995 7
He might be saying 'Mummy likes it' and merging the s with the it... Long shot, I know, but you might be able to pass it off as that to friends and relatives!
stepho322 3
That's DEFINITELY NOT a sentence... Just so u kno!
stepho322 3
That's DEFINITELY NOT a sentence... Just so u know