Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year-old clock. FML
Today, I proudly put on display the custom clock I'd spent 3 months building from scratch. It struck the hour and promptly fell off the wall, breaking my wife’s antique vase that she'd inherited from her great nana. FML
Today, I finally found out where my great-grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year-old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while." It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML
Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
airforce987 20
OP's username. I love it.
justmethough 8
How old is your son exactly..?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
graffitied_love 20
I think he had a cute concept, but I understand why you were mad with money being involved
borkchop1992 15
Your kids a dumb ass or too young to be trusted with being alone.
perdix 31
He watches too much sci-fi! Perhaps you can go back in time to find someone who can fix the quaint, obsolete piece of crap. The stopwatch on your iPhone is more accurate and more capable than the old analog type, and it can make calls, take photos and videos, and play Angry Birds. Face it, antiques suck.
DarthCory 7
Now hold on there sports fan, I'd take a GILF over some of these girls in their 20s. I like to call it... "antiquing".
nitemastr15 17
15, your an idiot. The watch was worth a lot of money. Not valued for its function or accuracy.
perdix 31
#48, it really hurts to be called an idiot by someone who can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're." Congrats on using the correct version of "its." I have a feeling that was just dumb luck.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
#48, please apply cold water to burned areas..
MonsterCommenter 4
Everyone knows if you want to time travel, you must go 88 miles per hour. :)
michabailey 8
No, you also need 1,210,000,000 watts to power the flux capacitor, which you also need.
manyourlifesucks 0
16 that one was already used.
thehurricanekid 6
Too bad he didn't inherit a police box.
DracoSpirita 21
Unless OP slept with the Doctor, sadly, I don't think her son is a Time Lord with a TARDIS.
Calyx_fml 22
Did your father have to hide that watch in his ass as a prisoner of war? (obscure Pulp Fiction reference)
greenie213 23
Get that boy a Dalorian!
perdix 31
DeLorean. If you want people to get the "Back to the Future" reference, it helps if you spell the car's name right.
NashyzzleTheN 10
I hope he's little or else that's a problem that he was trying to time travel.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Get him a police box and help the cause!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Oink, Oink, **** off!" --The 'Angry Birds' pigs