Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year-old clock. FML
Today, I proudly put on display the custom clock I'd spent 3 months building from scratch. It struck the hour and promptly fell off the wall, breaking my wife’s antique vase that she'd inherited from her great nana. FML
Today, I finally found out where my great-grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year-old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while." It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML
Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
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Top comments
airforce987 20
OP's username. I love it.
justmethough 8
How old is your son exactly..?
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Comments (110)
soad2014 7
Ummm...am I the only one who thought of Men in Black 3? Agent J did time travel on something that looked like a watch.
KiddNYC1O 22
He should've asked Stewie for help.
duckiegirl21 10
I really hope that your son is a toddler instead of some moronic 20-something.
noobgang7 5
You deserve it for having it valued you greedy ass. It is a family keepsake and it should damn well stay that way
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Family keepsake, my ass. Maybe they needed the money when they got it valued, or maybe they just don't insist on keeping something that they don't use. Don't call someone a "greedy ass" simply because they might have considered selling something given to them. You're one of those pricks who think that gifts shouldn't ever be given away aren't you? That we should just hoard everything given to us? Do us all a favor, and don't reproduce.
AznSamoan52 10
Your son has quite the imagination.
Ilikeurfmls 13
Well just twist it in reverse and never give it to him.
worldclassrager 41
hope the hands didn't break off...and age is a factor also...I am sure it's repairable but he would have to work his ass of to have it repaired...then he would never mess with something old again...
vettle 6
Anything I have of value like that is in a safety deposit box or somewhere safe. How did this get into the hands of a young boy?
DasHaas 9
You should probably keep a closer eye on your kid and/or move things of such value and fragility out of reach.
Albarufus 13
Good parenting though, you got to love his imagination! :)