Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my dad called my recently unemployed son a no-good bum for not job hunting. My son literally spent all day beefing up his resume and scheduling job interviews for the whole week. It's not the 1920s anymore, dad. You can't just walk into a building, ask for a job, and get hired right on the spot. FML
Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML
Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML
Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML
Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML
Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML
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Top comments
annie_nk 23
I saw people dodge bullets in The Matrix. So now I know what to do if someone points a gun at me.
Ambient25 25
I blame OP for not smacking him upside the head
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Comments (94)
Perrydox 5
Hahaha that's awesome
saraitkddh 47
according to your son logic I am indestructible
surfergirl72 7
I hope he's never seen Stepbrothers!
tekneeq 10
Tell him under SEX, to put, "Hell ya nigga!"
perdix 31
I've heard "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" are sure-fire winners on job applications.
cxteam 1
He got that dumb comment off a comedy "the heat"
Rick_Astley_fml 14
Lol
Zebediabolical 45
The first mistake is that you taught him to spell it 'resumé'. Either keep both accents or neither. There's a reason that red line pops up underneath it when you spell it like that.
RedPillSucks 33
Most american companies aren't going to care about the diacriticals, unless its a publishing company
Zebediabolical 45
If you're in an english speaking area, most companies are going to assume someone who keeps the accents is pretentious. And they're going to assume someone who keeps /one/ of the accents is pretentious and careless. If you've got a french name like Pascal Thibodeax or Jean Chrétien though, all bets are off.
RedPillSucks 33
Ah.. You're from Canada. That will make a difference.
Zebediabolical 45
Actually I'm from Louisiana and I've worked more jobs in the US more than I have in Canada.
B5B0N35 18
Haha its from ali-G in tha house best movie ever
gaki_fml 8
When keeping it real goes wrong...