Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in three months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML
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Top comments
tremoore24 6
Maybe "waffles and sausage" is an innuendo and there really is no food involved.
dietcoke09 25
Pregnancy is such a wonderful thing and changes both parents! Hopefully you get both sex and food tonight. Even though I'm sure a mix of both would be great for you guys.
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Comments (24)
Kittyphysics 21
pregnant sex sucks. breakfast is better.
K_nightlight 19
both. both are good
metroido 21
i would be too. sex is boring and meaningless.