Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in three months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML
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Top comments
tremoore24 6
Maybe "waffles and sausage" is an innuendo and there really is no food involved.
dietcoke09 25
Pregnancy is such a wonderful thing and changes both parents! Hopefully you get both sex and food tonight. Even though I'm sure a mix of both would be great for you guys.
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Comments (24)
sailorarctic 22
Are you just unnerved by the idea of sex while pregnant? I know my husband was hugely paranoid about squishing me or the baby and would refuse to be on top, but if I was I would get tired. I honestly can't think of one time he orgasmed while I was pregnant.
Bearsmomma 30
Poor hubby. should've had him attend an OBGYN appointment with you and have him ask those questions. I bet coming from a professional would make it sink in
anlong93 9
My hubby and I didn't have sex during pregnancy until I was past my due date. He orgasmed, but it was more like a duty than a thrill, lol. I wasn't ever in the mood the whole pregnancy, and he was fine with that.
withered 30
#20 Does your husband think his penis is Thor's hammer or something that he thought he would damage you and/or the child by having sex?
rldostie 19
I think my hubby was just weirded out by the whole thing. We had sex, but I'd have to beg and he seemed nervous or less than thrilled the whole time. What a cruel twist of fate that pregnancy can make a woman hornier than a rabbit on viagra, yet make the father less than interested.
jvanevery 19
spoon spoon spoon
Justagirl97 9
My husband was like that at first and towards the end he was scared to go down bc he thought he'd break my water
fcblaster 3
3 months!! when it'll come out, it'll be powder
Grisha_fml 18
LMFAO!
gotbeer 7
i also have baby boy due in 2 months, i cook for my wife, she loves it and i love her, and we keep other personal things out of public opinions :)
authenticated 6
You really ought to try sex while pregnant. I just delivered a boy a week ago but we had sex every time I asked right up until my induction. It was fantastic. DO IT OP. WAFFLES AND SAUSAGE FOR ENERGIES AFTER
DownFaLL57 23
You definitely have your priorities straight.
chosha_fml 27
Are we supposed to think FYL because you don't feel like sex with your wife? F her L.
murph_fml 21
Come on now, pregnant sex is the best!
deathtojesus 20
Food is better than sex
Birdie27 11
not to everyone
RedDevilOut 7
What the f man?. Hand in your man card rite now!
mermaidgirle 12
#36 please don't. He may not be in the mood. He may have the irrational fear of hurting the baby& mother. He may be worried that the baby can understand sexytimes-silly but a common fear too. Not wanting sex at a particular moment doesn't make him less of a man.
Justagirl97 9
Haha, she's probably trying to get you to help her get the baby out sooner if she's around that time. I know I did that to my husband around the end.