Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
amirn86 0
Hahaha that's AWESOME. My cousins had a parrot that used to mimic my aunt's voice calling out for the maid, so the maid kept running up to an empty room thinking my aunt was calling her. Then sometimes the parrot would also mimic the maid responding "yes?" - that's when you know a bird is awesome, when it has conversations with itself How did your parents respond?! lol
JP1988_fml 0
At least the sex was good, right? He got you screaming.... ;-)
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Comments (104)
isantorin 0
LOL
blahblah1234 0
#33: I have to agree with #34, the build-up to ****** and ****** itself is just too intense not to moan a little.. or a lot.. hehe. By the way, this is hilarious!
Amkii 0
I knew some birds could repeat words, but voices? Is that for real? That is awesome!! #12 - lol!!
lipglossjunkie 0
i have a quaker parrot. this is definitely possible because it's happened to me. sometimes he mimics the sex noises while it's happening. i have to put him in my walk in closet and cover his cage if i have a guy/boyfriend over. i've watched **** before and had this happen as well..... it's hysterical...he's pretty spot on
5bye7 0
such bullshit, you waste your time making up stupid stories like i waste my time responding to them
shalvius 3
ahahaha
kamikaze_fml 0
#47 is a virgin...
vitaminsandminer 0
33 has clearly never given a girl a good ****** or is secretly gay and hasnt come to terms with it yet. girls have orgasms 6 times more powerful than guys do, it takes alot for us to not scream if its good sex
glitchead 0
wow, thanks for making me feel shitty. I can't agree with 33 as I will never experience a female's ****** (from how intense and pleasing you women say, I am almost jealous... almost. Jr. keeps me happy too), but because I choose to remain abstinent, I am incapable of benefiting my future wife with a "good ******"? 33 might just be a naive virgin, which is why I try to learn as much about sexual intercourse as possible so that nothin will go wrong or embarrass the hell out of me. 1st rule, if you do it right, women can get loud sometimes. Make SURE the house is empty.
glitchead 0
and another thing, girls ****** 6 times more powerful? PROVE IT! I know girls ****** more but prove that the numerical value is equivalent to 6 times greater. Have you experienced a guy's and girl's ******? Maybe guys just don't scream because the first instinct isn't "this feels awesome so lets start to shout as loud as possible"? But yes, girls ****** more. Just... could ya be considerate to both parties. Biases are the base forms of prejudice...
laceyanneman 7
I thought guys orgasmed more...
shitfaece 0
#49 is not a virgin...
glitchead 0
¿Donde esta numero quarenta y nueve? Where is number forty-nine?
thebigO_fml 0
polly wants to own you! lol!