Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
amirn86 0
Hahaha that's AWESOME. My cousins had a parrot that used to mimic my aunt's voice calling out for the maid, so the maid kept running up to an empty room thinking my aunt was calling her. Then sometimes the parrot would also mimic the maid responding "yes?" - that's when you know a bird is awesome, when it has conversations with itself How did your parents respond?! lol
JP1988_fml 0
At least the sex was good, right? He got you screaming.... ;-)
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Comments (104)
brownrug 0
bs?
texmas 0
Screaming during sex is just unnecessary. ****** or no, I just don't get why some girls have to get all shrill and screamy about it.
CougeeSwagg 19
#33 Is a 24 year-old woman
CougeeSwagg 19
#33 is a 24 year-old woman
CougeeSwagg 19
I repeat #33 Is a 24 year-old woman
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, orgasms are pretty powerful and awesome, so ... I totally understand the screaming. :)
jenbearr 0
#33: You've got really no idea how intense the build up to the female ****** can be, do you? It takes a lot of self control not to scream. (Well, it really depends on the person. Obviously OP is a screamy orgasmer.)
asterificious 0
LOL, what did your mother say
blueice_fml 0
@34: Maybe he isn't capable of bringing them to that state ;)
nightswimming 0
#19: I have birds, and yes they are very capable of mimicking different voices. My amazon yells out "Mom!" in my voice, "Shut the door" in my mom's voice, and "Hello" in my dad's deep voice. #33: I completely agree with #34, sorry that you're not having good enough sex to make you want to scream. I'll usually bite my lip if I have to (other people home), but if we're home alone I'll yell.
leadninja 0
#35 his mom - "why would you have sex with your bird?"
nodbor 11
oh ya, porno bird!
nodbor 11
#33 screaming gets me harder.
Katylolo 0
LMAO! That's just freakin' fantastic. Loooooves it! #34 is right; if I HAVE to keep quiet I'll bite the sheets, a pillow, my boyfriend... ;)