Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML
Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML
Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML
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Top comments
silverhuntress 4
WTF!!!!! Wow... I'm so sorry that you had to see that...
turtlemanz 8
You decided to swing by at the wrong moment
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Comments (165)
SmittyJA24 26
It's bad enough to THINK about your parents having sex. It ruins a day to catch them in the act. But to catch them in group sex? You have my deepest sympathy.
guineagirl 18
im sorry im so so sorry
figures101 5
Damn your parents have game.
Dcm210 19
They should've went somewhere else
Fuhkyoo 17
If you ever find yourself in a situation that could be adapted into a viagra commercial, its your best bet to stay outside for awhile
RedPillSucks 33
That's because you were looking for the ******* website, instead of the "*******" website.
maggiefox 25
Your parents are cool :D
illinoiscentral 16
Maybe I'm way out on a limb here, but I'm thinking it's a bit too much with the parent sex hate. Yeah sure, I've walked in on my parents once too and I saw and heard some things I really didn't need to see/hear, but so what? I'm pretty sure they weren't exactly thrilled either. What's so bad about your parents being sexual people who don't let the chemistry die with age or kids? Not saying we should all just recall the moments with nostalgia, but it's really no big deal. I don't really find swinging as that unbelievable thing for parents to do either. So they don't change who they are after they have kids. Big mofo-ing deal...
Opheliae 22
I think I speak for a majority of people when I say, "Yes, I am aware my parents have had sex and likely continue to have sex, but I'd rather not witness it firsthand." Honestly, I'd rather not walk in on anyone- parents or not- mid-coitus. But that's just me being all prim and proper I suppose. OP, your parents should have been more responsible and told you to be home at a way later time. Or they should have given you more money. Anyway, FYL.
glitterkuro 18
Yeah I think it depends on the situation, and we aren't really given enough information in the FML. If they said specifically that they were having a party, it would last X amount of time, please do not come back before this time, then it isn't really their fault. It doesn't say whether they did or not. OP might have just got bored and come back earlier than they suggested. If they just said "go watch a movie", then yeah, maybe they should have been more specific. But yeah, I think a lot of comments are finding it way more gross because it's an orgy than because it's parents having sex, which I don't really get. Why does it matter what kind of sex it was?
illinoiscentral 16
Not saying it is his fault and being traumatized is understandable, also it seems like a situation where he didn't expect his parents to be doing anything. I totally get the sympathy for OP. It's the comment section parent orgy hate that seems blown out of proportion to me. I'm pretty sure a lot of us get excited by all sorts of dirty stuff, so why deny that our parents could be interested in that too? I guess it's just the whole cultural notion that parents having sex is an abnormal life event that sounds weird to me. Mostly found in the comments. OP was probably just super stunned.
glitterkuro 18
I agree, #102. Although to me, it makes sense that people who (if OP's talking about the people who raised him) must have been together for years and years would be more into swinging. For one thing, being together that long means that you know each other so well that, if you have a good healthy relationship, things like jealousy and insecurities should be a lot less and you should trust each other much more.
realtingdis 12
I don't think i'll ever have enough trust to watch another man have sex with my wife.
Crystalkitty22 11
I don't think it's the parent's age everyone's so worked up about ...
ASBriere 8
Hahahahahahahaha
commonlogicz42 6
You shall make some lucky psychiatrist very wealthy.