Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, my mom read online you could train cats to relieve themselves in the toilet. Without reading any further, she took away the litter tray. My house reeks of cat piss and shit, and she still refuses to give the cat its litter tray back, insisting it'll work eventually. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML
Today, my 11 year-old daughter claimed I'm a terrible cat parent. Why? Because in the 4 months that we've had the cat, I haven't given him a bath. Our strictly indoor kitten lives in attack mode, and would paint the walls with my blood if I attempted it. FML
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Top comments
panicsdisaster 17
that's because she is sensitive and doesn't trust people again.
devildog562 33
Bite her back. At least it worked with my child.
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Comments (79)
panicsdisaster 17
that's because she is sensitive and doesn't trust people again.
silvercamaro 22
Now she looks at everyone as if they're the people in your picture
DiamondGirlj 18
Poor Kitty, it's just a baby, so of corse discipline is needed.... But she doesn't know much better of what ever she did
Jmgonzo 10
Seriously? It's a baby. Do you give your 2 month old a whoopin for chewing on your furniture? I would hope not...
DiamondGirlj 18
I meant as in a stern no. ?
invadermaythe1st 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
cats hate water. if you spray them with it, they're going to pissed at you. stop spraying her with it, you're losing your trust.
teentee401 37
Read the FML again it says her parents did it
teyyoshi 19
dude take it easy on him
wRIPPERw 23
Did you just blow in from stupid town?
CoGhostRider 31
Yea I'd be angry as well.
sydneysays 15
Of course..she's not going to trust people, that'll just make her mad. She's a cat. Cats aren't really that nice anyway
rocker_chick105 31
I don't know what cats you've been around, but my cats are pretty nice. They're independent, but do enjoy a nice cuddle here and there. One even sleeps right next to me almost every night.
cutelilscrafty 8
I've owned cats for 14 years. If you train them correctly, they can be sweet, loving, and super cuddly. Sometimes too cuddly, like my cat CC was.
Vitotaylor36 13
My cats are the friendliest cats in the damn world, I swear (exaggerating). My 20 year old cat has slept in my bed almost every night for the last 15+ years. My 2 kittens (not actual, but we still call them kittens) are the most playful little turds ever.
jthmtwin 16
My sweet cat is the most lovey cat I've ever know. She loves every human, other animals however are a no.
AnyaS 19
One of my cats (only 2 1/2 years old) physically can't bring himself to bite, even with a hand in his mouth. There are many sweet cats out there; They all just have different personalities.
mcpoople 6
We found one of our cats outside after she was dumped because she wasn't wanted anymore. She was abused and is special needs and she is the sweetest thing ever. She's been through a lot in her life and she loves everybody. She's fearful of men at first but she's never mean. Our other two cats are her babies cause she also got pregnant when she was dumped. They are the sweetest cats ever. They love everyone they meet. So, I don't know what cats you're talking about.
devildog562 33
Bite her back. At least it worked with my child.
sweetbliss3 37
that worked with my sisters kids as well.
Vitotaylor36 13
I've been told the same. It didn't work with my sis. She bit harder and thought it was a game. Sadistic little shit...
Bazinga90 12
Lol! I wish it had worked for mine
YepThatsMeee 23
It works really well with bed bugs too.
LaurenRoxsU 9
Lololol there's a Brother-Of-The-Year trophy out there for you somewhere, I swear.
Enslaved 38
If she's a kitten, she might be teething and the water spraying might not have anything to do with her negative behaviour.
allie2590 31
Agreed. My kitten used to bite a lot when she was teething, but she just kind of stopped on her own.
PenguinBitch 44
This must be true because she has a picture of a cat. :)
devildog562 33
I always thought she was the cat...
Oyas12 14
best. profile picture for this fml. ever.
YepThatsMeee 23
#27 Cats cannot be enslaved, so she must be the cat's human.
seemo82 19
#47 human can't talk or type... she's definitely the cat having a human pet (bird's talking)
sweetbliss3 37
that's weird. I spray my cats with water and they just move or stop what they're doing. but every animal trains differently so hopefully you find something that works.
Migole 36
On a completely different note: How old is your kitten and is it your only cat? Because biting you is not normal behaviour. Kittens should be with their mothers up to 12 weeks of age, otherwise they aren't fully sozialed = will not know how to properly play/interact. This often leads to cats who play or cuddle with their claws out because they never learned any better. If your kitten is old enough but alone you should definitely get a second kitten (approx. the same age) for it to play with. Many humans seem to think they can replace another cat but they can't. Similar to how a child needs other children. A human child with only adults around him will never age into the functional adult he/she could've been. The kitten needs lots and lots of exercise, for hours at a time. It will learn that biting is not ok while playing with other "cats"
Mauskau 36
So only childs are dysfunctional? Cool.
soulreaper12296 28
So because I'm an only child that means I'm not a properly functioning adult?
rocker_chick105 31
Your child logic isn't relevant because children attend school and get socialization like that. Parents bring them places like grocery stores. Cats don't exactly like to go out, and I bet they hate school, so you can't really compare the two.
Malecent 13
Take it from the oldest: not every child wants siblings.
Lct1196 31
I think she meant like if a ten year old never met someone their age, then they wouldnt know how to socialize.
Migole 36
Honestly, are some of you just plain stupid? Yes of course I meant that every only child is dysfunctional. NOT! I meant the hypothetical situation of a child who's never met any other children as in grown up in a single room without seeing anyone besides their parents, EVER. Because that is how your kitten feels, except that you're not even a cat. Way to miss the point people. One could think that you would be capable of understanding a metaphor...
ImmaBabyGoat 13
Can we appreciate the fact we just got extensive animal advice from Fluttershy? Because it is fantastic! Also, she is correct about kittens and their need to be socialized. Their mothers and littermates teach them manners and proper behavior. I t's the same with puppies and their pack. If a puppy bites his mother too hard, she genscofftly places her jaws around his snout, discouraging the behavior. Cats do similar things, as do most animals in general.
mcpoople 6
Actually, cats only need to be with their mother until they're 8 weeks old. Anytime between 8-12 weeks is fine for them to be separated.
odamaliekh 26
What made your parents think that spraying the cat with water was a good idea? Poor kitty!
Merylwen 24
Because usually that's how you teach cats what they're not allowed to do.
jthmtwin 16
I trained mine by snapping my fingers loud in their faces. After a couple weeks the understood that the snap meant stop.
cutelilscrafty 8
I give mine a gentle swat at the base of his tail. Not hard enough to hurt, but it gets my point across.
maddyylion 16
Studies show that only caused cats to retaliate . Probably why cats are stereotypically grumpy.