Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML
Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream, "Don't take me, take my children!" FML
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
Today, after losing my father a little over 6 months ago, and finally feeling comfortable talking to my fiancé (who lives with me and my family) about it, my mother forced her way into the room and started yelling at me for crying. Her excuse, "It’s after your bedtime." I’m 20. FML
Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML
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Top comments
Dynoblaze 1
Maybe having sex with your dad was a nightmare for her.......
Khalavaster 0
one day you'll be one too :)
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Comments (91)
Raachhhx3 0
looks like your mom is a ******* trooper x]
coldplaylive2003 0
you are never old enough to hear that fyl
yourfavoritemofo 0
Holy shit, yah really, **** ur life, atleast for awhile
zpicci 0
his username perfects the FML
FuckUpXNote 0
HA HA HA!
feed_the_ducks 0
Sounds like your dad is proud of his sex skills. Poor you, the trauma you have to endure from learning this must be difficult.
TarasTrouble 0
wow i dont think your ever old enough to hear that one. ughhh
Masta_Blasta 0
aawhahahahhahahaaah ha aha ahahaa... that is awesome. :]
j_miller_ 0
hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaah i love that...that's what I'm telling my kids.
lolthatsucks101 0
ahahahahaha wow took me a minute to get that one but once i did lmao!! ahahahahahahahahahaha