Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mom that I struggle with depression. She then told me that she thinks that I always seem to suck the life out of a room. FML
Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML
Today, going to my psychiatrist's appointment for my PTSD and depression, my mother yelled about how useless I am and how I torture her existence with my "abnormalities." She told the doctor how much I've improved and become such a delight at home for her and our family. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, I found myself crying in the bathroom because I started to feel lonely and depressed. My mother came into the bathroom, hearing me cry and gave me an hour long speech about what a beautiful human being I am… And to not forget to lose weight. FML
Today, my mother once again called me to remind me what a disappointment I am despite having two degrees, a house, a professional job and having never been unemployed at 25. FML
Today, my mom sternly told me that she would no longer make doctor's appointments for me, since I need to do them myself. I've been staring at the phone for thirty minutes, crying from anxiety. I'm 27 and the most pathetic man alive. FML
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
Today, my dad told me that I'm a weak and negative person because I suffer from depression and anxiety, then he told me to just snap out of it. FML
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Top comments
zp5 4
Your mother is awful.
CrazyManNo9 29
Living well is the best revenge. Show them all by stepping up. Do deal with the depression. It's neither easy nor fun.
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Comments (199)
nightDREAMERms 6
Well, this is a hard one to address. While depression does hurt, and really, makes you feel like there's no Reason AT ALL to be joyful with life- one of the best things to do, I think (and I'm no doctor so, this just my opinion) is to go help out people who are worse conditions than you currently are. People who are already homeless, sick, or starving. Not only does it help your self-esteem by giving you that "good" feeling of having made a difference but also reminds you that you're not at the bottom yet. The secret to beating depression, is not giving into it. Now as for your mother, many mothers can be plain D-bags when it comes to these things. Really, it's likely, that she just wants you to "toughen up" and views depression as just an excuse to mope around, rather than a classification of it. If you aren't complaining about your life or whining to her about it, you should (or rather *I* would) tell her to mind her own business and let you deal with your own problems if she doesn't wish to lend a helping hand. ...If you are complaining (which is unlikely from my encounters with depressed individuals) then, don't do it to her- She might be like me: after a while of constant negativity it'll just bug her to the point where she'll stop sympathizing and just want you to get over it.
FarSide 23
No. The "secret" is getting and staying on anti-depressants until the depression passes. Even if it is a lifetime.
nightDREAMERms 6
Anti-depressants won't actually cure anything if you aren't mentally trying to conquer the problem as well.
FarSide 23
they are not to cure, they are to cope with the issues while getting counseling
nightDREAMERms 6
Uh... okay? Then we're agreed. Without counseling and/or mentally trying to overcome your obstacles, you won't escape from depression.
snapperhead 0
your mother is right. Buck up!
walc 2
Jeez, this is like the fourth depression FML today.
RawrTurtlez 0
Suck it up princess.
merritalstatus 3
I mostly feel sorry for those grad school rejections. that's time you're never taking back. fyl
nerdface89 2
OP is not saying she is depressed over these things that have happened. She is saying she has CLINICAL depression (caused by chemicals not events) and ON TOP OF THIS all these things have happened. So basically at a time she needed people or good things in her life they all left. The clinical depression can not simply be willed away, and the other things on top certainly do not help. Even if she fixes these things the clinical depression won't just magically disappear. Point is, with what she was already going through, plus all these things on top, I think OP had the right to be a little upset without someone coming along and mocking her for it. Just because you shouldn't wallow over bad life events does not mean you're not even entitled to be a little upset when they happen. Grief (over whatever) is a PROCESS and needs to be experienced before it can go away. OP doesn't need people making her feel bad for undertaking a natural process. I don't understand why people feel pity at sympathy are things people should never be given/ask for. These things exist for a reason.. you use them to look after someone when they're having a tough time. You don't need to refuse to give it to anybody just because.
NightGod 0
Actually, it *can* be willed away. Been there, done that. I was diagnosed, given a prescription, took it for a couple of months. Realized I absolutely despised how it made me feel (yeah, it helped with the lows, but it also leveled out the highs, no thanks). So I sucked it up, stopped taking the meds and started forcing myself to enjoy life-everytime I had a negative/depressive thought, I made the conscious effort to improve my outlook. After a couple of months of that, the positive thoughts became the norm and I'm now seriously one of the happiest people I know. I'm not saying I never feel down or have a bad day, but I've made a habit of not allowing myself to wallow in those bad feelings. So when I tell the OP to get the **** over it, I'm actually speaking from experience. Or you could be like my mom who's still on meds for her depression and just kinda goes through life-not really depressed, but rarely happy, either. I'll take the whole spectrum of the human emotional experience over the compressed gray that meds leave you with, thank-you-very-much.
5t3ff1k4h 47
119 - I understand now. Everything that works for you must automatically also work for everyone else, right? WRONG. Everyone's different. Glad it worked for you, but I tried the same damn thing as you with no luck.
Illyssa_fml 4
Can't really say anything about you losing your boyfriend..and maybe not your job, but maybe you should have gotten better grades in school..haha FYL OP
monkeyCanDoMYJob 7
sorry to hear OP, I hope things get better for you.
NorfolkDude 2
I think people are confused. The TC doesn't have a "mental illness" of depression. A mental illness is where, through no outside ailment, causes a mental state in which it is not normal. In the case of depression, if you were sitting around and suddenly you got depressed even though events around you are not so depressive, then that is a mental illness. Then there is the event triggered depression. The kind where, like the TC, is caused by drastic event that may or may not change your life. Such depression are short term and usually are resolved by itself and is a normal reaction to such event. A mental illness of depression is very rare. I would say that for every 10 people who are diagnosed with "mental illnesses," only about 1 actually has it due to no actual event. It can be very tricky and requires medication, but with so much other people crowding the system, these people are typically ignored due to the fact that therapists and other are so busy with other cases, they really can't understand or comprehend a case where an actual mental illness occurs. With that in mind, the TC is responding normally to such event. She needs to bring herself out of it and stop the pity party. It's a good, god honest motherly advice because the more you feel sorry about yourself, the less anything is going to happen. The fact is, after such events, one must think that there is more to life beyond the events that occurs. With such things, one find himself or herself since a test is completed and you faced your failure. That is part of life, which seems to be missing from many people today. Yes, there will be times in your life where everything falls apart. Ask anyone who was born before 1970 and you'll see they can handle it much, much better than anyone else.
NightGod 0
Stop using logic and facts, you'll get voted down by people who let a bad month turn into a lifetime of popping pills. My apologies in advance for your post's disappearance.
open_letters 0
For a lot of people, the pills are what give them a lifetime to keep popping them. Of course the psychiatric industry, particularly in the US, is a bit of a cash-cow, but in countries where the patient does not bear the full cost of medication, and where there's therefore less incentive to prescribe the latest drugs, generic versions of meds can be exactly what's needed to get someone back on track and remind them what it's like to actually feel like living. For anyone who took meds and felt the world was 'compressed gray', I suggest you go back to your doctor and ask to switch - there are loads of different meds, from SSRIs to tricyclics and many in between, which all act slightly differently, so it's just a case of balancing things out. The exact pathology associated with depression isn't fully understood yet (the 'chemical imbalance' explanation is at best too simple), but even a cursory study of history will show that depression has existed for far longer than pharmaceutical companies, so it's just a little bit simplistic to suggest that 'sucking it up' will always work - if it did, depression wouldn't have existed before there were drugs to provide a 'lazy way' to deal with it. Hint: No-one WANTS to be totally unable to get out of bed, be constantly tired, not enjoy doing anything, contemplate suicide whenever they see a bus pass them on the street, so have a little, teensy bit of respect. It's not some huge conspiracy, just a wide spectrum of human experience, not all of which can be reduced to the anecdotal 'I sucked it up, so why can't you?'.
5t3ff1k4h 47
120 - Sadly, your illogical post is the one to be voted down. Amusing, eh?
NightGod 0
It did exactly what it was intended to.
5t3ff1k4h 47
146 - Yours did, yes. But, the other logical comments you were referring to weren't. So, I guess that makes you wrong.
archevaldhoratio 0
well I think that your mum should be more supportive, things will start looking up, ignore the ignorant people on here