Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML
Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML
Today, I was telling my friend how much I love my 20-year-old kitchen scale, because it has this one handy function that even new ones don’t have. Later, my mom melted it on the stove and isn’t even convinced she should buy me a new one. FML
Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML
Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
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Top comments
I_am_stupid_also 6
Just tell her, "I know what you mean, my husband said he had to eat the dog's food behind your back when he was growing up so he didn't starve."
kionnalexus 0
What a bitch >.
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Comments (104)
Solstice0100 0
Your mother-in-law is a bitch.....
Kenpachi_fml 0
smack her with the microwave!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mykeh 0
Man - 0 Machine - 1 Maybe you should prepare her a nice meal and then lace it with poison.
LucasJohn89 0
She is probably just one of those mums who feed their children microwave meals their whole lives, and anything that cant be "prepared" in under 2 minutes will taste like crap to her no matter what it is.
LadyAlathia 0
Think that's bad - wait until you're actually actively cooking something, and five minutes before you're planning on serving you realise she turned off your pot roast three hours ago, because you "weren't watching it". So glad I got that batshit insane woman out of my house.
zuli_fml 0
What the hell? Did that woman not understand that, y'know, some things actually take time to cook? You don't have to babysit a freaking pot roast.
teehee520 0
At least your husband has better taste than his mother.
Major_General 10
Just because you work at McDonald's doesn't make you a chef.
LucasJohn89 0
haha, she probably wouldnt have said no to the microwave if she worked in McDonalds - they must have to replace theirs all the time!
01100110 0
Microwaves are for quick meals, I cook more in the microwave than the oven, because I specialize in snack foods. Your stepmom has no taste in good food.
OneSadGuy 3
I don't see the problem. Now you have a legitimate killing weapon. Stick your mother-in-law in there, and microwave her. After authorities come for you, say you wanted to dry her because she fell in a river. Follow up by suing the shit out of the company for not mentioning that bitchy-mother-in-laws are not to be dried with a nuclear reheating device. Dye your hair blonde for best effect.
cefarix 5
She's just jealous.