Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML
Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML
Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jeffo193 13
"Thou shalt not have surgical breast implants"
BlackBlazeCobra 16
For her sake I hope it wasn't a cheap surgery. If it was, she'll most likely regret those fake boobs down the line. Although that might be a good thing, as long as she doesn't get sick.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
liv_graham 7
If you take her on a plane, they might pop.
sarah6786 14
Ugh, like that movie. I can't remember the name or what it was really about though, just the boob popping part.
MidnaLink 35
Why is Noor thumbed down? That was a segment on an episode!
andrealovvve 17
Weird.. Me and my friend was just talkin bout if they can pop in airplanes. Feels almost like déjà vu lol.
sarah6786 14
How is this FYL? I'm sorry but I don't see what exactly she did that affected you.
Mister_Triangle 21
Her response was obviously a joke as well. Overreactions all around!
nrr13145768 13
Well if she went from like an A cup to a C cup shouldn't your dad be happy?
MalzxTheTerrible 4
Nobody prefers A's.
Zebediabolical 45
Pics or it never happened!
myurlbriii 9
Why do you care? Besides, she's sticking to the classic rule- what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. I suppose she's half breaking it by bringing her new boobs home. Better than a ring?
poccocurantes 7
Bigger boobs= bigger ring. Next trip maybe?
dapickle 9
Hahah
truesarrif 33
bout bloody time someone pointed out the mist obvious response to this post..I was afraid I was gonna have to lol..I scrolled every comment looking Forbes"what happens in Vegas" so Thnx for saying it :)
sens3sfailing 25
what happens in vegas, stays in vegas. Except for herpes. that shit comes back with you.
BrotherTheo 31
OK Then. Mom Went on a trip and brought herself back a little something extra. That's what you do when you go on vacation after all eh? Don't hassle her too much OP I'm sure she had her reasons, even if you may not agree with them. It's true, count your blessings she could have come back with stuff far more challanging to deal with.
poccocurantes 7
I am an atheist and we whole hardly support a womans right to enlarge her breasts. Really OP you need to get the facts about atheism before you start spreading these salacious rumors.
Mister_Triangle 21
I whole-heartedly disagree with your spelling and grammar. Maybe next time the Flying Spaghetti Monster will have mercy on your noodle.
doLLe 21
She did say AND a liar
beehardxcore 26
Ka-fail.
Dusty_Busters 15
Pics or gtfo
RedPillSucks 33
Grand Theft Otto?
emchocolat_fml 25
Could have been worse, you could have a new "dad" by now!
poccocurantes 7
That's coming. She now has better "options".
bexxiiee 11
Does it really matter? It's HER boobs!
doLLe 21
she did lie about it, but otherwise it dosen't
rvnclwprfct731 13
That's what i was thinking.. How is this fYl? She's the one that lied. Who cares? Live and let live