Miscellaneous: Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would...

By whoops - 29/06/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

agreeclassic 23 340

vote type 1 60 952

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By sarcastic_centipede - 09/06/2021 06:02

Today, my mom told me to take the trash out. I started to, but then I saw that the trash can had been rolled out to the curb, so I went to my room to put on shoes. My mom apparently took this as me deciding not to take the trash out, as she not only yelled at me, but growled and hissed as well. FML

agreeclassic 893

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Down in the dumps

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

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vote type 1 4 158

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 17:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

agreeclassic 41 162

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By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

agreeclassic 34 956

vote type 1 2 463

By MasterWong - 20/06/2018 19:00

Today, I opened my blinds to see the front yard littered with trash. My neighbor's cat ripped our trash bags open and smeared them all over the lawn. Since it was my turn to take out the trash this week, my family decided I would be the one cleaning up too. FML

agreeclassic 3 545

vote type 1 340

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 18:12 - United States - San Jacinto

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

agreeclassic 25 942

vote type 1 1 931

By Typrokka - 22/10/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

agreeclassic 13 166

vote type 1 32 213

By MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - 14/08/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

agreeclassic 32 156

vote type 1 2 713

Thanks, Mom

By Wounded_irony - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML

agreeclassic 4 209

vote type 1 721

By trashcanned - 06/04/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

agreeclassic 29 781

vote type 1 52 240

Snicket 13

Monday 30 June 2014 1:22

Hulk miss, hulk mad, hulk sad.

Demonface54 20

Monday 30 June 2014 1:21

In what universe was that a good idea?

Comments

GentlemanBastard 15

Monday 30 June 2014 1:24

The trash can doesn't like you when you're angry.

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Monday 30 June 2014 8:18

You're not yourself when you're angry. Snickers satisfies. Or something like that.

CryoShock 14

Monday 30 June 2014 1:26

HULK CLEAN!

martin8337 35

Monday 30 June 2014 1:27

You have to turn green and have a real bad attitude to hulk smash.

Logan_A_Caruso 16

Monday 30 June 2014 1:30

Now your going to have to pull a hulk clean up

Kamon97 23

Monday 30 June 2014 1:49

Should've used a glad bag lol

Godsofdracos 15

Monday 30 June 2014 1:55

"You won't like me when I'm angry, so get Glad!" New ad campaign. Nice.

GentlemanBastard 15

Monday 30 June 2014 3:11

My comment was going to be something to this effect, but I couldn't figure the wording. You nailed it!

Adam5858 17

Monday 30 June 2014 1:53

Good job.

DylanHasClass 17

Monday 30 June 2014 1:58

Blame a raccoon

bernie81000 10

Monday 30 June 2014 1:58

Shit head

TheAbstract 15

Monday 30 June 2014 7:39

Poop out a noggin?

ginger196 14

Monday 30 June 2014 2:20

calm the freak down hulk

thatchick1405 17

Monday 30 June 2014 2:30

I'm guessing that wasn't supposed to happen?

slyde32 12

Monday 30 June 2014 14:51

yeah, of course it was supposed to happen, op came to tell everyone on fml how he succeeded

thatchick1405 17

Thursday 3 July 2014 7:50

I'm being sarcastic

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vote type 1 154

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Today, I received an e-mail from the girls at work. It was an invite to lunch, but it said, "Lunch today at Camber's, PLEASE don't tell Françoise, I don't think any of us can take any more of her!" I'm Françoise. FML

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Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

agreeclassic 6 532

vote type 1 565

Today, I made some brownies to take over to my dad's place for his party. He started yelling at me when I told him I'd added a special ingredient for taste, demanding to know what I had slipped them. Cinnamon. It was cinnamon. FML

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Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

agreeclassic 34 838

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