Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Bullshit merchants in the temple
Today, I found out my mom has literally spent all her savings sending money to some bullshit-peddling megachurch televangelist, who apparently told her that giving them money would ensure her future fortune. Tithings, my ass. FML
Anger management
Today, my mom told me that I needed to manage my spending better. This is the same woman who will log onto Candy Crush Saga, play a level and not come remotely close to beating it, and then blow $20+ on it to complete it. She got just a tad angry when I pointed out this hypocrisy. FML
Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML
Priorities
Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML
Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML
Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML
Jay Mascis Jazzmaster?
Today, my mother started nagging me for spending $500 on a guitar, stating that, "We're not in the mood for unnecessary bullcrap." I paid for it with MY money, and she suddenly turned up at MY house because my father kicked her out of their house after finding out that she cheated on him. FML
Thieves like us
Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML
Today, I found out that the $200 I reluctantly gave to my mother so she could rent a house was paid to a scammer. Now she wants to live with me, in my one bedroom apartment. FML
Top comments
cprompt 0
Dude, those quantum pendants are dangerous. I got one and now I randomly phase between the universe and an alternate one.
zoopooz 0
Your mom is duuuuuuuuuuuuuumb. Kill her.
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Comments (118)
FuzzMonkey09 0
Lol...wow, and I thought my mom spent money irresponsibly!
soozin 0
Well as gullible as your mother is, it doesn't mean you should be spending all your money, maybe you don't, but I know a lot of people who spend all their work money on clothes they wear once and discard and/or games that will be outdated within a couple of months.
xDavidx 0
This is honestly... something my mom would do
Ibeapirate 0
More like Fyourmom'sL. Just be grateful you got the smart gene.
doofy_fml 0
im just stereotyping but is ur mom a blonde???
elloelle 0
^ hahahahahah! i didn't even think about that
Firesquid 0
Holy crap. I have an aunt who's a little like that. The woman has a six foot tall pile of compost in her back yard.
elloelle 0
i just wanted to be comment #69 on here...FML
Hong_Kong 0
my mom bought one of those too!
kandy_fml 0
This is more like a FHL because your mom is a moron. This one has nothing to do with YOUR actual life. Although, I suppose it could be a FML because you have a stupid mother. But other than that. Not a FML.