Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML
Today, while visiting my parents, I observed that I've been able to visit more often because I've avoided getting sick the whole year. My mother responded by reminding me that I need to get my act together if I'm going to lose weight and get healthier. Not the reaction I hoped for, Mom. FML
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I'm now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Today, for Mother's Day, I surprised my Mother with the news I that I'll be visiting in June. The last time we got to visit was 4 years ago, we live 4000 miles apart and it's a very expensive trip. She said, "No, come next June, I want to lose some more weight before seeing you." FML
Today, I told my mom that I'm bulimic and have been for a few years, and that I needed help. She responded by saying, "Well that's clearly not working for you. Why don't you try anorexia?" She then patted me on the head, smiled, and walked away. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Tell her to take a trip to the sun, she might get a heart after it thaws out.
RedPandax 23
That incredibly insensitive. She should volunteer in Africa. It might make her a more nicer person, it sounds like she's needs it.
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Comments (67)
fullerkate3 17
What a bitch!
spacefish966 18
x2
RedPandax 23
That incredibly insensitive. She should volunteer in Africa. It might make her a more nicer person, it sounds like she's needs it.
Laeffy 19
I'm surprised this got upvoted considering you said "more nicer".
lishabear 21
#37, it's the thought that counts.
elsie23 11
# 37 because African people are nicer than American
RedPandax 23
I was emphasizing on how her 'nicer' wouldn't be nice, and her 'more nicer' might give me hope. Would nicer-er work? Great, now nicer doesn't even look like a word
teentee401 37
You can just say nicer...
more4me 27
It's upvoted because we agree with #2 wholeheartedly. Everyone can make a mistake (probably a typo rather than a grammatical error); OP'S mom's idiotic, insensitive comment, on the other hand, is infuriating.
ZoroMiHawk 25
Or you can consume less calories per day than the amount of calories you need to maintain your bodyweight for a daily net calorie deficit consumption and you'll lose weight.
toastbrot 9
nobody asked for weight loss advice
pooldude 24
Yah dude calm down on the science. Its a FML about an insensitive mother.
askullnamedbilly 33
How exactly do you know that OP even needs to lose weight? My mother once told me she wished I had an eating disorder because it'd make me skinnier. I'm on the low end of the 'normal' BMI range and have never been overweight in my life. Some people just have a really ****** up view on what people should look like.
LaLince 40
this is the only rational comment to this FML. I don't understand the thumbs down... to lose weight you have to consume more calories than you get.
pooldude 24
And FML is not the place you come for weight loss advice #35....
SlapsKnee 12
OML, nobody should want anybody else to have a mental disorder. That's ******* terrible, I'm so sorry.
Wizardo 34
Tell her to take a trip to the sun, she might get a heart after it thaws out.
SleepyPharma 21
I thought this comment was going to take a more "incinerative" turn.
olpally 33
So her heart can burn in hell^^ there we go :D
capnbzarr 43
This metaphor doesn't make sense. A frozen heart is still a heart. Unless you meant she will thaw out the frozen sun and it will grant her a heart?!
elcee1987 18
Somebody get #55 an icepack before his brain overheats. You're overthinking it dude.
LaLince 40
Tell her to **** off
saifnaqvi11 21
It's not all over Africa. It's just in a couple of certain Mal-Areas
saifnaqvi11 21
For real though that's pretty heartless. Tell her that it must be a genetic thing to be fat.
aliciabaird1269 11
Hehehe
8313girl 28
It amazes me how ignorant some people can be when it comes to Africa. They must think the whole continent is just rampant with malaria, Ebola and AIDS. OPs mother needs to Google some African regions. Google is her friend.
rileyrae0000 23
Some parents don't understand how inappropriate the things they say are, even as a joke
capblack 7
It's alright OP! All that matters is that you're comfortable with yourself!
tranced_ 45
She's all kinds of racist.
christopherwilli 14
How was that racist?
pooldude 24
You are a special kind of stupid, aren't you?
TheGreatPotato 19
By this logic, mosquitoes are also racist.
aliciabaird1269 11
Sorry OP. Your mom of all people should know how beautiful you are. Your her child. But if she can't pull her head out of her vindictive ass, all that matters is that you love who you are.