Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
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Top comments
yoimtrollin 24
And your little brother is what age?
rg350dx 29
Sounds good. Bend over ;)
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Comments (56)
SuperDanielNL 23
Get pregnant, that'll teach her, or poke holes in those condoms. On a more serious note, OP; get yourself out there if you are looking for someone and buy your own condoms and just hide them from flipped out relatives.
ebbalofstedt 9
Haha love your mum
Cazz91 21
"That will be $8.50 for those box of condoms please..."
BEButterfly 13
Wow I'd say well if I get knocked up anytime soon you'll know the reason why!
jw90 18
I wouldn't necessarily go out and start banging lots of girls to prove her wrong. Just go buy a new pack and wait for your time to come.
graceinsheepwear 34
OP is a female.
lina_bean 5
Ouch!!
mazor 22
Dry spell is quite a catch, given the fml ;)
WhiteCrimson 23
Damn your mom is open too alot of stuff... Dont go scratching in her drawers.....you might find alot of wierd stuff.
josh8215 21
I imagined that in Aku's voice. I am now horrified.
JacobH34 10
A jar you say? Someone's confident.