Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
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Top comments
yoimtrollin 24
And your little brother is what age?
rg350dx 29
Sounds good. Bend over ;)
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Comments (56)
brittyboo123 35
Well, is she lying?
perdix 31
That's a nice idea, but really the guy should supply them. How do you know if he's going to require a Magnum, a regular or a "fun-size?"
pipboy3billion 7
There is nothing fun about fun size
SuperDanielNL 23
Tried it I presume? Or the gf wasn't too thrilled?
Nohman 14
Well, will you?
rg350dx 29
Sounds good. Bend over ;)
challan 19
Remember that condoms only have a year long shelf life! She might be giving your brother the gift that keeps on giving.
perdix 31
#18, if "shelf life" is a year, what do you think "wallet life" is? About 31 hours?
Ebola_fml 20
Zero if you sit on it. Pressure is not good for them.
perdix 31
Your mom sucks! She has left you completely vulnerable and unprotected . . . in case of a surprise water balloon attack!
cieloalicia 16
And she would know this how, exactly?
Colorguardlife_t 14
She shouldn't know that much!!
strike2867 13
Wait two weeks, then tell her you're pregnant, show her a fake test.
pinguino3669_fml 23
And giving them to your younger brother is better how?!