Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML
Today, my mom called me a “subhuman inbred.” All because I was fidgeting during church without realizing I was doing it. FML
Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML
Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
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Top comments
marcolin 0
I hate how religion influences people like that... GJ man, keep it up with ur life :)
Peroxide 3
Well then, its obvious what you need to do. Smoke, drink, do drugs and go to church on Sundays.
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Comments (46)
RedRobster 0
WIN!
timtam24 0
.
plexico 4
The number is spelled googol. It is defined as 10^100, or a 1 followed by 100 zeros. The company, Google, is spelled differently. I'm knocking you IQ down ten orders of magnitude to 10^90 for making such a childish mistake.
timtam24 0
maybe i did it on purpose so you'd talk to me, and it wasn't a mistake at all
hogermite 0
your iq is now 15 points lower for posting such a stupid fml.
PaperShreds 0
Nothing that special about an IQ of 130 and being an honor student, unfortunately. Aim for 140, valedictorian, the Principal's award, and a few other miscellaneous achievements, maybe then she'll overlook it.
blland 0
YOU EVIL CHILD!
dspadres 0
Well no shit she thinks you're the worst! You don't do anything fun!
splinterette 0
Maybe church would help you with that horrible arrogant attitude you have goin' on. If you weren't such a braggart, maybe your mom wouldn't care whether you went to church.
plexico 4
High IQ and class standing doesn't mean you also cannot be a selfish, nasty bastard.