ouch
United States
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Aliiveopen
This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff
Wasilla, United States
Demon drink
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
I want to forget too...
New York, United States
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Anonymous
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Akron, United States
My life
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Anonymous
New York, United States
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Anonymous
San Jose del Monte, Philippines
Can't handle my drinks
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
the only sober one
San Diego, United States
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
innocent
Australia
It was an accident!
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
xMiSS_CuTiEx
United States
Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Top comments
FindingYujin 26
Well how insensitive of you to bleed all over her carpet.
tacojauns 45
God what hell! Do you know how hard it is to get blood off the carpet?
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Comments (129)
wafflefriez91 17
Give her something with ghost pepper in it and that bitch will never **** with you again.
Deviant_fml 5
Your mom sounds awesome... Have quicker reflexes next time.
carrotcake11 7
Well...don't bleed on the carpet! Jk
shadowxpwnu1 2
CHICKA CHICKA slim shady!
kobykai 3
Happened to me once. Except my brother threw a phone at my face. A Brick I might add -_-
Funnyguyproblems 1
Well I think I should be gettin on that dusty old trail to my new parents house, shall I?
nick3600 22
Ydi for bleeding on the carpet and hitting her fist with your face
rougeunicorn03 17
Sounds like you need a new mom.
nick3600 22
hey op you see what you did? this is all your fault. i hope youre happy.
odod777 28
Your mom is a moron!!!!